Richard: Oh, youth. They try so hard. First Lady Gaga and then Lady Lambert, and now this Lady Fledgling Student of Architecture. (At least I think he’s an architecture student. If I could see his glasses, I’d know for sure.)

It’s obvious that LFSA is a fan of German culture: note the prominent Heineken banner, which he swiped from an Oktoberfest display when the hot bartender he’s secretly in love with stepped out for a piss. This became a design centerpiece for our Bauhaus-frau — something around which he attempted to create a sleek, Euro look for his attic atelier.

Unfortunately, jamming a lot of minimalism into one room kind of defeats the point. The bland walls, the raw mirrors, that sad Philadelphia Phillies banner, the austere futon frame: TOO MUCH, I SAY. When finishing a project, decorators should always take a good, long look at their work and set fire to one thing before leaving the room. That philosophy was good enough for Coco Chanel, and it should be good enough for anyone at Penn State.

Parting thought #1: If LFSA is trying to clue mom into his 420 habit, that shrunken skull-head lava lamp will do the trick just fine. And speaking of tricks…

Parting thought #2: PENMANSHIP CLASS. Invest in one.