Richard: “Yo, yo, yo, giving a shout-out to all my homies on the Terre Haute west side! I got it going on with the gangbang gangsta style over by my crib, so all you bitches and hos swing on by for some off-da-hook boot-knockin’ action, bay-bee. I be all about it-bout it, yo… Huh?… Aw, mom…. Yeah, alright, I’ll keep it down.”

David: Oh, my god. This is like a major Colonial invasion — to me the most unfathomable and deviant of interior design traditions. The McDonald’s shrine in the back corner is too John Wayne Gacey for me. I need to move to the next pic.

John: Credit where credit is due: The photographer is following the Rule of Thirds and the boy is set stylishly off to the left. Unfortunately, the photog didn’t get to the chapter yet about NOT blending heads into the blades of overhead fans. Still, I like the way the model dominates the picture with his quizzical direct gaze. The overspilling penis, succulent as it is, is no match for those white curtains with the blue stripes, though. Did somebody say “White Star Line”? And could Mom or somebody straighten that lampshade?

Heather: This may very well be one of the most disturbing photos I have ever seen. It’s akin to a modern-day Little Red Riding Hood, in which the wolf comes into Grandma’s house, skanky cap and all, and waves his wee little willy shouting “It’s all the better to grease you with!”