LURID DIGS : Horrifying Gay Amateur Interiors

March 23, 2007

John: We know what dungeon masters look like in their lair amid the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. But what could they possibly be doing by daylight? This interior tells us all we need to know — with footnotes.

Does not the decor scream kinky CPA? That serious desk with double drawers for filing. The exposed wiring and clunky CRT monitor befitting someone too busy to keep up with the times. The whole utilitarian nature of the clutter. Very no-nonsense and very much what we want in a leather top. But note how meticulous this bear is. What really drives us wild is the tea towel to protect the chair. Not that this fastidious number would leave any sort of marks, with his trim beard and schoolmaster glasses. Among so many other things on bodacious display here, this photo give us proof positive that in CPA Land cleanliness is definitely next to godliness.

David: The clash of protruding and receding planes in this room would have caused M. C. Escher — the Dutch master of impossible architectural paradoxes — to swoon. The vertical rush of the window blinds colliding with the horizontal thrust of the drawers creates a startling impression: All of a sudden you feel like the porn on the monitor has popped out — fully embodied — into the real world. And is about ready to start jerking-off — right before your eyes. That’s some powerful feng shui.

I’m impressed with the dramatic and stagey way the desk is being used as a prop. And you just know that long drawer to the left contains all of his cock rings arranged in alphabetical order.

Curtis: I’m most intrigued by the egg timer sitting atop the trusty beige cathode ray tube, and secondarily by the calendar showcasing one of my favorite genres: Airbrush paintings of glistening crystal dolphins soaring through rings of fire in space. Or maybe it’s just a standard issue volcano scene. Either way, sign me up.

File Under:Dens From Hell

6 Responses to 'Desk Abuse During the Lunch Hour'

Tuffy remarks:

Couldn’t this picture simply be a view of the office from the previous post seen from the opposite direction? Here it is–the other half of the posited narrative. A scene must follow where dad discovers his son’s predilections and decides to introduce Jr. to his “Uncle John” down in the secret dungeon.

I would never wear leathers, nor am I particularly inclined to photograph myself nude for online posting, but I can’t help but think that were I to attempt this, I might pose myself on the Le Corbusier lounge chair. I dunno–maybe the chaps would simply disappear into the black leather upholstery, but otherwise I could see the rough sleaze of the leatherbear costume contrasting nicely with the classic elegance of the chromed steel frame. For further suggestiveness, I could arrange a still-life of lube and nipple clamps on the Eileen Gray breakfast table.

March 24th, 2007 at 11:40 am
al deluca remarks:

After hours of balancing the books and reordering alcohol wipes for Duke’s Leather, Piercing, and Sex Toy Emporeum, Max takes break to unwind while watching that Bears of the World screensaver he recently downloaded. What could we possibly make of the prescription drug vial and timer on top of the monitor? Only that Max here must remember to go down the hall to his grandmother’s room and administer her blood pressure medication three times a day. If only she knew what he does in what used to be her office, then she might really need that stress ball that rests beside her pills.

March 24th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Lazenbear remarks:

Despite Walmart going to great lengths in their advertising campaign, nothing could ever make PVC gumboots sexy. And so, Sebastian gives up the high life and returns to the accounting department thinking of what could have been.

April 4th, 2007 at 8:50 am
Aris remarks:

is that stephen king? I knew he’d changed after the car accident, but wow…

April 10th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
Nazatxt remarks:

nazatxt nazatxt nazatxt nazatxt nazatxt nazatxt

August 30th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Gan remarks:

Haiiiiiiii

Its too big, I wnt to suck it, plsssssssssss

August 10th, 2008 at 1:53 am

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David David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.

Shawn Shawn Baker is the Executive-Editor of Nightcharm and hails from New York. He is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.

Rich Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.

Heather Heather Corinna is the undisputed diva of online erotica for chicks. She publishes Scarleteen.com and is a sex guru to thousands of teenagers.

John Sean Horlor is happy to no longer be using his judgmental prowess for the forces of darkness. He co-hosts a comedy lifestyle reality TV series called Don't Quit Your Gay Job and runs Up Your Alley.

6 Responses to 'Desk Abuse During the Lunch Hour'

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