Richard: And here we have Chi Chi’s private living room, designed by Miss LaRue herself. Oh, and what luck! Here we have an actual hustler, ladies and gentlemen, probably plucked from the very sidewalks of Santa Monica Boulevard! Take your photos quickly, my dears — tomorrow he’ll be charging $300 an hour for it!
David: I’m a sucker for composition. And it’s fabulous how the model looms out from the center of the image, claiming his domain. It’s an effect that’s amplified by the crazy lines of the wainscoting zig-zagging through the blazing orange room — “Yeah, baby!” Everything here screams ‘A’ for effort. Still, I’m filing this under: Celine Dion’s Venetian (Tangerine) Daydream.
Heather: Real Men Decorate With Naugahyde. Ooh, and that paint! Must be from the new Campbell’s Soup Collection.
John:The more I look at this photo the more fake it becomes. Is this the hocus pocus of Dr. Photoshop? Can he really be looming so enormously in the foreground? Of course, there is a whole genre of amateur porn photos — I call them the Colossus of Rhodes photos — shot from the floor where the head seems to brush the ceiling. Still…
So anyway, here we have yet another Colossus of Rhodes on the loose. This one rampaging through the pages of Architectural Digest. Correction, through the home of someone who reads entirely too many Architectural Digests. You know how there is such a thing as Fashion Victims? There is such a thing as Architectural Digest Victims.
File Under:Living Room Wreckage
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David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
John Calendo is the Executive Editor of Nightcharm, and a life-long Pop Critic @ Large. His work has appeared in Playboy, Blueboy and boy oh boy everything in between.
Shawn hails from New York and is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
Heather Corinna is the undisputed diva of online erotica for chicks. She publishes Scarleteen.com and is a sex guru to thousands of teenagers.
Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Steve is a lost sort of man who zones out, easily, into the foreheads of strangers. He keeps a blog of his drawings here.
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At first when I saw this photo I thought thought that it looked as though someone had forcefed a rhino some festive pot pouree which had promptly thrown it up across the living room. However, upon closer inspection, the man with the painted on hair, has actually been superimposed upon this backdrop. But if you were to go to the trouble to photoshop yourself onto a living room, why choose one that looks like the product of Satan’s cholera outbreak.
The use of perspective in this vignette reminds one of Caravaggio or possibly van Eyck–The model being elevated somewhat above the viewer’s natural horizon line, the model’s gaze directly regarding the viewer, his dick seeming to jut right out of the picture plane, while the perspective of the room recedes dramatically away in the opposite direction.
Actually, I had wondered if this wasn’t the product of Photoshop, since the lighting and scale of the model don’t quite seem to mesh with those of the background. But our model seems to be casting a shadow. So either he’s used a flash that has created a shadow on the wall and ceiling behind him, or he’s actually posed in front of a backdrop of an ugly living room for the photo–and I’m not even sure if that would be any stranger than just Photoshopping one’s self into such a dire setting.
That head didn’t belong on that body, now did it?