Shawn: I feel nothing but sympathy for this guy. He probably figured taking up with those kindly old ladies would be a sweet deal. How could he know they were actually elderly pornographers who target skid row hustlers, lure them back to their respectable-looking suburban split-level and ultimately coerce them to don glittery Santa attire for their web-based smut ring? The dainty, lacy curtains belie a yuletide off-to-grandmother’s-house-we-go warmth and conceal the organized crime within. The chintzy dime store vase has a very “Mama’s Family” rerun vibe while the fakey flower arrangement at once invites you to have a sugar cookie and pay no attention whatsoever to the hidden camera.
Richard: “So, do you like it? It was a total rush job — grandma stepped out of the house for, like, ten minutes, and it took me almost that long to dig out the Naughty Santa costume she’d worn for Halloween. Then I had to set up the tripod and the camera in the living room — I mean, I didn’t even have time to do the red-eye thing. Still, I think it’ll make a nice Christmas card, don’t you, Uncle Jim?”
David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
John Calendo is the Executive Editor of Nightcharm, and a life-long Pop Critic @ Large. His work has appeared in Playboy, Blueboy and boy oh boy everything in between.
Shawn hails from New York and is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
Heather Corinna is the undisputed diva of online erotica for chicks. She publishes Scarleteen.com and is a sex guru to thousands of teenagers.
Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Steve is a lost sort of man who zones out, easily, into the foreheads of strangers. He keeps a blog of his drawings here.
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the pirate grin is what gets me, i keep thinking he’s going to ask for spinach up his ass or something
Yeah, if you cover up that facial expression — and that complexion! — this could actually be sort of whimsical and cute. (Usually “tinted moisturizer for men” is a very bad idea, but in this case…)
SANTA! What are you doing here so early….oh dear, wait, you’re the crackie from up the street - right? Give me back Grandma’s stuff.
Somebody has been very naughty this year - in this case, Santa himself! Hey, you’d be out of breath too if you had his schedule. Probably some little tyke was sleeping on the couch, caught St. Dick leaving some cheap gift under the tree and started to mouth off. Santa’s response: “kiss my frozen overworked ass, kid!”
Well we all have to learn the truth sometime, but as for me, I still believe. Happy holidays to the Nightcharm staff, it’s been a very entertaining year! Jor
To me, the face says, “This isn’t working, is it?”
(or perhaps, “Shit! I forgot to bleach my anus!”)
Love the barely-finished pine furniture.
I cannot focus too much on the lurid digs here as that lurid facial expression draws all my attention. Is the fellow signalling the thrilling anticipatory fear of getting plugged for the first time or “One step closer, Mister, and I’m blowing my lunchtime chili in your face.” Beats me.
Take it Quick! I’ll remove the ‘red eye’ later.
“So what’ll it cost if I don’t take the pants?”
this is just disturbing.
I think it may have actually ruined Christmas for me.
looks like someone is about to receive a christmas tree up their butt!
Dear lord! Just the expression of distress on his face… That’s a face that says, “I need to find a restroom RIGHT NOW!” and should have nothing whatsoever to do with the endeavor of willfully photographing and then posting one’s own ass online.
I think the title of this one is literally among the funnier things I have ever read.
Is it just me or does this look like a scene from the Christmas special of “the lost boys”? Corey Haim has not aged well.
Thanks for this unbelievable image, which will undoubtedly pass through my mind should I meet with a sudden and violent death.
What is it that is so deeply compelling about it? Is it the hatchet face or the harried expression on it? Is it the cold sole in the corner of his mouth or his poop chute propped up and needin’ a breedin’?
The decor almost lead me to take my first drink in 4 years. Only a flamethrower could cleanse the earth of such window treatments, not to mention the silk flower arrangement in the timeless irridescent blue vase (available at fine shops all along the Mexican Riviera.)
In short, this photo is one of those “can’t look at it, can’t look away” moments we secretly crave in life. It’s why this site is my favorite new porn, and why I won’t sleep tonight.