Steve: My colleagues are going to disagree, but I’m going to just admit that I’m comforted by this. I know it’s not stylish. But does it look like it’s trying to be stylish? No. The guy knows what he likes and isn’t embarrassed to just display that stuff. The only real issue is posing with an erection in front of a picture of one’s grandmother.
I guess if I were hired to advise him on his interior, I’d bring up the possibility of putting this stuff behind some doors somewhere, and if I were hired to photograph him… it wouldn’t be in front of this particular shelf unit.
David: So many parts work here, albeit parts that are confined within the bookcase grid — but still this gets an A+ from me. Why? Well, it’s the equivalent of a collage, an ensemble that declares one’s essence, one’s ‘isness.’
Yes, as Steve points out there’s a picture of granny (or maybe that’s mom?) but to the right there’s also a picture of the homeowner from his college days. That photo depicts him in a pose similar to the nude shot we’re getting. I like that traveling through time feel — from grandma, to school days, to NOW! Eckart Tolle would like this room too. Also, in a bit of subliminal wonder we have the gigantic Sex Bible (how fine is that?), shoring up his pose. The power of this image rests on unfettered and free libidinal chutzpah … and that’s truly fab.
File Under:Living Room Wreckage | Violations of Space
20 Responses to 'Use Shelf Space to Declare Your Fabulousness'
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David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
John Calendo is the Executive Editor of Nightcharm, and a life-long Pop Critic @ Large. His work has appeared in Playboy, Blueboy and boy oh boy everything in between.
Shawn hails from New York and is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
Heather Corinna is the undisputed diva of online erotica for chicks. She publishes Scarleteen.com and is a sex guru to thousands of teenagers.
Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Steve is a lost sort of man who zones out, easily, into the foreheads of strangers. He keeps a blog of his drawings here.
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The picture of Mother is a little disturbing.
but he really loves his cat and that’s just precious.
If that blue glass head could talk….
(Actually, she probably wouldn’t have much to say. Note how jaded she looks).
The book collection is nothing of note, either, sadly.
I love that he’s so enthralled by his own penis. It is a pretty impressive penis, aesthetically speaking - nicely proportioned, great rise, a nice, classic shape to it, full turgidity - it’s just funny that he’s not shy about recognizing that.
I think he looks a little surprised by it - as if he’s thinking “you’re hard again!!!”.
And - as for posing nude and rigid in front of a pic of grandma…..why not - he keeps her parked two shelves above a massive tome on SEX.
Props to him for being so tidy and clean though - I bet he dusts every week. Come to think of it, maybe he dusts in the nude - and was surprised by the erection.
Enough with the heavily lacquered wood! I’m a little bothered by the picture of his mother too. But it is sweet that he has pictures taken with his cat. Normally, I would be creeped out by that, but in his case, it’s kinda nice.
The second hand, garage sale brickabrack on top of the bookshelves lacks any real appeal and adds nothing to this decor. I would suggest that he toss all of that junk out.
Oh yeah, when it comes to bookcases, NEVER, ever try to shelve paperbacks. It never works. Same can be said about keeping your back issues of National Geographic or in this guy’s case, Cat Fancy.
*Notice how I was careful to leave out any comments on that small penis of his.
Okay, here’s what I think is going on…I don’t know if it’s the light or if those really are pop bottle glasses, but I believe he is actually trying to set his penis on fire. (The way one would burn ants with a magnifying glass.)
And he could be an expert on sex, judging from the huge book entitled “Sex” on the bottom of his book shelf.
His glasses. Hmmm.. bit thick yeah.
I will never understand why men never put off their socks…
@ kim: it’s because they keep their little blue pills stashed there, so they can keep standing naked with a full erection in front of the junk-collections for hours. now you know.
No, the book collection really is nothing. Still, the hardback copy of ‘Hollywood Babylon’ on the bottom shelf does indicate a certain respect for tradition.
A close examination of the bibelots reveals that this man would make an excellent husband for any cat lover. Better to share him with a cat than with that stone-faced granny.
Just for the record, I’d hit that like a money-snatching Coke machine. Why, you ask?
a) He’s a francophile (evident from the abundant signs of cat-love and the blue glass head, which is kinda almost definitely an homage to the Draags featured in the classic French film *Fantastic Planet*).
b) As a francophile, he’s probably a good cook.
c) As a francophile, he’s probably not afraid of skipping a shower now and then. Mmm.
d) Glasses–hot, sexy, euroglasses, even. EU nerds rule.
e) The Greg Gorman coffee table oeuvre. It’s not quite as highbrow as Sophie Calle, but it’s a start.
I think I also spot Kenneth Anger’s ‘Hollywood Babylon’ which was formative reading for me in my youth. Around 8 years old I started to tell my friends about Lupe Velez’s botched suicide attempt and I’m still telling it.
Regarding his book collection, the green tome beside his left calf is a TV Sitcom encyclopedia. And I am not ashamed to admit I know this because I also have a copy of it in my book collection.
Ikea shelves (the cheapest ones) holding one too many cat paraphernalia.
stuffed cats, an elephant, charlie brown, Grandma, tome on SEX, Hollywood babylon, Greg Gorman, empty glass jars (aka cheap vases), lacquered wood shelves, coke-bottle thick glasses and socks. I am pretty sure that this is only 1/10 of his book/chatchki collection and that says enough for me. This guy is clearly going to be a bit twisted. (i.e., fun) who cares about the size of his dick when you can just look at the size of his hands, wrists, and forearms. I am sure there is a Family Economy Sized jar of Crisco somewhere in his home. I wonder if there are any photos from his collection depicting his arm inserted in someone with another picture of Grandma above the recipient’s head… hmmm…
Oh and does that look like poppers… excuse me, video head cleaner, burn under his nose, that white speck? or perhaps it is steptic and tissue?
Cheers and Prost!
I could never get wood with Mom peering at me from a framed pic.
WHO frames their cock block?
I am strangely fond of him in all his dorkitude.
I don’t think that’s a picture of his mom - I think it’s his high school senior portrait, the one that he posed in drag for.
well done, bro
you look like sweet