Shawn: This is damned to faint praise. Sure, our guy knows his strengths and wisely foregrounds his girded haunches and well-developed calves, but face-free nakedness always beg the question whether it’s a less-than-photogenic mug or an innate shame that calls for anonymity.
And just as it’s possible to be technically hot but not especially exciting — sort of like the interchangeable Van Patten or Van Dyke sons or softcore porn — brand name-heavy vacuousness can neutralize everything in sight.
His domicile is marked by the very same middle-of-the-road, risk-free ambience that characterizes his handbook nudie shot, as if the entire place were mainlined from Pottery Barn. That’s got to be the company catalog resting on his subdued navy upholstery and I’m thinking it’s either the Sumatra Media Cabinet or the Tanner Nesting Tables that are driving him to such flank-bearing delirium, especially since he already has the faux-craftsman Raleigh Coffee Table and matching Mica Lamp.
It’s a given that there’s constant smooth jazz and/or world music piped in, plus the entire series of Murder, She Wrote (The Golden Girls are just too tarty and floral-inclined) waiting in his Netflix queue, all for the sake of maintaining the hypnotically tranquil jejuneness of it all. Only the conspicuous 8 x 10 of a beaming Eisenhower Era moppet reveals the subtextual seething rage and self-loathing that compel their sufferers to seek out this very oppressive prosaicness that ultimately crushes the already broken inner child within.
Maybe this is none other than Steve Guttenberg — the embodiment of the built-but-bland guy you’d nail but feel empty inside not only after, but during — squat thrusting for his upcoming run on Dancing With The Stars. Or could it be one of the earnestly zoned-out Romney Brothers biting down on that glaucous throw pillow as he simultaneously weeps and pants about what a dirty boy he is deep, deep down inside.
Yes, we know it’s you Tab or Dart … or Flash …
David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
Shawn Baker is the Executive-Editor of Nightcharm and hails from New York. He is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Eric B. does not Facebook, Tweet or blog. He uses the internet to cruise for sex, like god intended. He has leopard print in every room of his house, save one. And he does not apologize.
Heather Corinna is the undisputed diva of online erotica for chicks. She publishes Scarleteen.com and is a sex guru to thousands of teenagers.
Sean Horlor is happy to no longer be using his judgmental prowess for the forces of darkness. He co-hosts a comedy lifestyle reality TV series called Don't Quit Your Gay Job and runs Up Your Alley.
- "A" for Effort
- Bathroom Abominations
- Bedroom Terrors
- Beyond Horrifying
- Calvacade of Calamities
- Closet Catastrophes
- Curb Upheaval
- Dens From Hell
- Dining Room Don'ts
- Floral Attack
- For the hell of it
- Fucked Up Foyers
- Haunted Hallways
- Hot Anyway
- Kitchen Kitsch
- Living Room Wreckage
- Loopy Lighting
- Marvelous Mancaves
- Must Haves
- News
- Something Different
- Suffocating Sofas
- Violations of Space
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- Inner Circle Porn Explosion
- Naked Jocks
- Uncut Amateurs
- UK Naked Men
- Frat Boys Fucking
- Banana Guide
- Jock Strap Central
- Fierce Gay Porn On Demand
- Military Hardcore
- Broke Straight Boys
- Slick Hunk Porn
- Nightcharm Theater
- Guys In Ties Shooting Loads
- Straights Guys for Gays
- Famous Gay Porn Stars
- Straight New York Men
- Euro Gay Pig Sex
- Kristen Bjorn Uncut Kings
- Hung Gay Gorillas
- Dirty Tony's Gay Amateurs
- Hunk Body Builders
- Hung Black Thugs
- Latin Guys Sucking
- OINK! Euro Studs Banging
- Scary Frat Hazing
- Alpha Male Fuckers
- But I'm a Married Straight Man
- Sucking My Brother's Friend
- Butch Dixon Naked Men Pics
- Next Door Nude Men
- Gay Older Dads and Papas
- Cocksucking Fuckers
- Sean Cody Boys Next Door
- Latin Guys Sucking
- Corbin Fischer's Gay Athletes
- Colt's Hung Men
- Nightcharm: Naked Men & Gay Porn Fun
- A Train Wreck
- Cheap Shit Condos
- Gayest Ever
- Gideonse Bible
- Kok Magazine
- Put ‘em All on an Island
- Queer Bites
- STARFUCKER
- Wayne’s Nude Musicians
© 2011 Nightcharm Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of this site may be reproduced without the writen permission of the owner.
yeah this guy’s a closet HGTV fan.
Ummm…I’d happily eat and hit that!
This is absolutely priceless!
The “Leave It To Beaver” pic just brings it all together for me.
We see pretty much every asset of the “here and now” subject except the face. The picture provides that.
Just wonderful.
And for the record, I’d eat that with ice cream.
In Germany we have the same word for cheeks and buttocks: ‘Backen’ – so to me it is deeply hilarious how both boys grin widely with their Backen.
I wonder what he’s reading while the timer on the camera hits zero?
My guess he’s reading the tag on the sofa that says, “Do not remove under penalty of law” but just like the rest of you whores, I would eat that with a spoon and pray for lockjaw!!!!!!
Those legs……..my goodness!!! Love every minute of it. That ass is way too fine for me to leave some bitchy comment. Maybe next time.
Damn, so that’s where my childhood photo went! I knew that hustler took it. And girls, it’s every bit as good as you’re thinking. Better!
Yeah, I’d tag it…for a second, I’d forgotten that this was Lurid Digs and that I was supposed to focusing on other things in the photo. This guy has some great legs and a pretty nice ass, too.
Did no one notice the varicose veins and black socks? This is no tasty treat but instead a buffet filled with hemorrhoid creme and ben-gay. and why dear god is that child’s picture smiling!!!!
Tim…..
I don’t believe those are varicose veins. I think he has really nice, butch, veiny legs from doing awesome squat-lifts. (That’s my fantasy and I’m stickin’ to it! )
Now, I did not see the socks until you mentioned them. Suffice to say my attention was a little higher up in the image.
A no-no, but forgivable.
I believe those are boots not socks. The house is way too cramped for me. If this is the only place where he could get into that position I am afraid I would be experiencing claustrophobia long before I had a chance to tag that… and yes, btw in a different location I would be happily going to town on one of my favorite albeit rarely experienced pastimes… mmm
As far as the face goes, the only position we would be able to see a face in this cramped quarter is upside down and we all know that upside down faces tend to be beet red with veins throbbing, and an odd expression plastered across them… much like, “Oh my God! I think I am going to have an aneurism!”
The tree seen from the window is the only thing convincing me that this room is not the interior of a small yacht.
Doesn’t everyone read TV Guide in that position? Maybe it’s just me…
i’d plow him while we watched HGTV.
I dated this dude for a few months in 2001. We played alot of Scrabble and took his Lorazipan on Sunday afternoons to combat hangover discomfort. His hobbies were mainly cooking and gentrification. He was in love with his straight best friend. He suddenly stopped returning my calls and I finally found out, 4 years later, it was because I didn’t bring my own detergent when he invited me to do my laundry at his house one weekend. True story.
C’mon guys, he’s just looking for loose change under the cushions!
Is that photo in the background widely produced? If not, then that’s my old landlord or his BF in the photo. They were such douche bags.
That photo of the kid seems to be saying “Grandpa’s silly!”
[MITCHELL picks up the RECEIVER of the VINTAGE OFF-WHITE FRENCH PROVINCIAL-STYLE STROMBERG-CARLSON ROTARY TELEPHONE on the VINTAGE LANE DOVETAIL STEP END TABLE WITH GILT ACCENTS and puts it to his ear, coyly and with great concern dialing the first number on the WALL, SL of him. SFX PHONE RINGING ON OTHER END SOUND, CLICK, MUTED "hell-LOWWW!" ON OTHER END.]
I don’t know…
I guess Andrew is still okay, but his tastes…
I know.
I _know_!
I know!!!
The way he talks, it’s like this guy was the only hot British guy who ever set foot in Topeka, Kansas!
Yeah, Kevin! It’s like, one day he’s shopping the Pottery Barn and maybe a little Restoration Hardware Online (and Anthropologie for the cushions, but he’d _kill_ me if he knew I told you, so –)–
YESSSS!
And now he does nothing but cry over that hideous Silent Hill-looking wax figure in that… _formerly_… darling and modern breakfast nook…
But listen!
So, last night, I finally managed to get him to say more than two words to me, over coffee (with that — THING –, which is called, if you can believe this, “St. Peter’s Keyhole,” and it’s by this guy, Francis Bacon, who not even Franco at Shear Heaven has heard of) –
Yeah.
I know.
I mean, it’s humpy and all,
but it doesn’t go with _anything_ he has.
Let’s do him a big favor and have the Goodwill haul it away before he gets back from Cancun!
Kisses!
[CLICK!]
Aaaaand, scene!
See me for notes in my imaginary office, people!
obviously a before and after picture….the artist as a young man and as an adult.