Steve: This serene, gallery-quality forest print on pressed fiberboard has started to warp and ripple. The humidity level of this environment is TOO HIGH for the proper care of art. This print must be moved to an environment of lower humidity immediately if the remaining value is to be preserved. Art is something that must be treasured, like a fine fur.
David: I know I’m supposed to analyze the interior design elements here but this fucker is wearing my high school ring, the very ring I “lost” at an East LA tarot reading parlor back in 1982. Goddamn it!
File Under:For the hell of it | Living Room Wreckage
18 Responses to 'The Proper Care of Art — Ricardo’s Lesson'
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David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
John Calendo is the Executive Editor of Nightcharm, and a life-long Pop Critic @ Large. His work has appeared in Playboy, Blueboy and boy oh boy everything in between.
Shawn hails from New York and is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
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Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Steve is a lost sort of man who zones out, easily, into the foreheads of strangers. He keeps a blog of his drawings here.
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Thomas Kincade never looked so good!!! And Tex? Would you?
As Javier swept into the Juno Alaska Econo-Lodge, he grasped his full length polar bear coat from hell and exclaimed, “What a dump!” This was certainly not the “bear hunt” he had in mind. Unfortunately for Javier this photo was snapped just as he entered PETA’s “Don’t wear fur” annual convention.
Javier was last spotted hog-tied to the hood of a Subaru headed toward the Artic Circle.
Hurry Tex you can still catch him!!
“Allo. Are you sad in ze bed? Do you dreams of much excitement with a hairy, wealthy man? I am zis man! We will make ze passionate love in zese, my luxurious private shambers. I will pleasure you, my well-muscled boudin, in ways you have never imagined, all to ze sounds of my stunning records of ze K-Tel collection.”
I’m sorry. I have a psychopathic psychological hatred for Thomas Kincade and the others of his wretched ilk. (You know who you are, so fear me.) I sit, look at this photo, and cheer the humidity in it’s destruction of this abomination!!!!!!!!
Pardon me. I must go and take my meds, if I can get the child-proof cap off with my trembling hands.
Well, it certainly gives a low-budget interpretation of, “It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got bling”.
How many dime-store gumball machines did he have to rob to get all those…..rings?
I can overlook about anything, but leaving the lube on the window sill is just plain tacky.
How did this bastard manage to get his hands on an original Bob Ross?!?! (Note the preponderance of happy little trees.) I’d have it chained to the wall, too!
Color me green… WITH ENVY!
Perhaps the room featured 16 May 2007 (CK in the House of Usher) has finally been “made over”. They kept the lamp with a chain encased cord (who wants to poke messy holes in the ceiling for all that electricity?) but added some art work, a lovely bit of material on the window.
The youth from the pre-makeover shot has long since moved out. At least I hope so for his sake….if the hombre above is the new resident…oh, the guy in this picture IS the decorator. Lovely work sir.
I also like the labradoodle fur coat.
ricardo sweety, you didn’t need to kill all those cats for that coat.
(Tex???????????)
That’s it!
I knew I was missing something….
The coat! It really IS Labradoodle!
All hail Rico Suavé - Emperor of the Utica Witness Protection Program!
As a lover of fine art, and card carrying Peta member, this is a love that wave neve meant to be…Have YOU ever tried to get Jheri-curl out of 1200 thread count linen? Well….have you?
sorry…”was never”….working on my first cup of coffee for the day, and this image has made my eyes water (and not in a good way).
Is this Sunny or Cher? - or weirdly something made out of both ? And the glasses are definitely little Yoko Ono’s.
And is it legal to dry a dead stingray in a mental home?
While at the World Congress Center, in Quito, Ecuador, Jorge, who was competing in the South American Liberace Impersonators Convention, is photographed in his ready room, behind the stage, and liltingly coos, “I am ready for my close up now, Mr. DeMille.”
I find it disturbing how there is no sign of permanence here. This room could have been empty five minutes before the photo was snapped. For all we know even the chain-cord is a decoy, leading to no lamp, and that hair could be a clever wig that actually incorporates balding for a “real” effect. I think we’re being bamboozled. POSER!
To the long list of never, never, nevers displayed in this shot, add never hang the jabots OVER the mini-blinds. The jabots go to the side and swags over the middle of the window. Otherwise, you might as well brick-up all the openings — which might not be a bad idea considering what a fabulous archaeological find mummified Xavier and his Thomas Kincaid artwork would be.
Is this a still from Gene Simmons’ sex tape?