
Steve: Lex Mathis began building his media empire when he was only fourteen. An involved and extensive system of cables, monitors, and audio/video data stored on a spectrum of formats including VHS, Beta, and stereophonic audio cassette-tape is what has resulted from more than eight years of constant attention. It is rivaled only by certain branch offices of the Minnesota Public Library System.
File Under:Beyond Horrifying | Calvacade of Calamities
Okay, he’s hot but was this taken in a TV repair shop? Which just happened to be in someone’s basement? And again, with the tacky chair!! These cunts bought all of my gradmother’s furniture and are those termite tunnels I see?
Tex, what is the verdict?
I’d need a different venue, but I’d enjoy making that big strapping hunk do sinful things. Sinful, sinful things.
I keep looking for a sling!!…… maybe, I’m dreaming? Help, anyone…can you see it?
Surely this strong, capable fellow can simply build a sling from whatever’s lying around in the background. And I’d sure like to help him test his finished project. But we’d have to hang it in a different room…what looks like the rented basement of the neighborhood crazy cat lady doesn’t do a lot for me.
I am going to venture a guess that the upholstery color of that La-Z-Boy is something akin to Chartreuse. That’s a sin of the first order.
However, I am willing to forgive and move on.
Roll camera………..ACTION!
Alright, I admit it, I am so freakingly turned on! He can abuse me anytime among the techno-clutter. I just know he could improvise a sling out of all those cables. I can see myself, shrieking like a gleeful schoolgirl, suspended from the ceiling beams while he works me over under the flourescents. MMMMMMMMM, I have my fantasy for this evening. Thank you.
I see a a few chairs, couple of TVs, a VCR and tapes, a card table with a computer monitor, beer cans and what looks like a mini-microwave behind that. This is clearly someone’s basement (heating ducts, various telephone wires and tacky flourescent light fixture) but the question is, does he actually live down there or not? Where is the camera, on the bed? He’s basically a cute All-american guy, and with no windows in the room I give him extra credit for not shriveling up with the cold!
Walk towards the light……
What gets me is how proud he looks. It’s like, “I made this! I made this squalor!” Yes, he’s hot, but the pride expressed through the crossed arms and satisfied smile is a bit too Freudian for my tastes, i.e., “I took a big shit! I did it!”
That said, I am curious as to what’s in his movie collection. The chrome DVD tower does blend well with the vertical piping and dangling wires, but what is he watching? What’s his motivation? What makes him say, “Gosh-darn it, I’ve simply got to pose naked in the basement of this militia’s compound”?
Yes it is a basement, but not of anyone’s house. It’s the downstairs storage room of the Salvation Army Thrift Shop. Lex here checks-in at the Army’s recovery center in each town he visits; they give him a free room, hot meals, and access to a bunch of actual recovering alcoholics who will do anything, ANYTHING, for a strapping young quick-to-get-naked man such as he.
Note the empty aluminum beer cans on the table to the right. Lex has already led a sucker or two off the wagon and he won’t even have to put out … unless he wants too. “Hell,” thinks Lex, “it’s a FREE fuck.” Granted, the debit cards from rock bottom drunks don’t bring in a big rewards, but Lex is only looking for enough to fund his adventure, and the way he sees it, these bums are in good hands. They’ll go crawling back to their rooms in the morning, full of too much shame to ever press charges, and he’ll be onto the next port.
“In a way, it’s really a victimless crime,” figures Lex. After all, he costs less than the real whore that, if these guys had enough cash, they would no doubt be blowing it on. And they wouldn’t remember the more expensive sex either. So it all works out.
Damn Anyone who looks that good under flurescent light deserves a lot of credit. In this case I would be glad to take out the trash.
At first I was excited and thought he was in my parent’s basement:old cabinet tvs, metal and formica table, 60s upholstered chairs, old lamps, computer monitors, etc. I was ready for a visit home to find him. On reflection, he moved home with his nosey parents and the basement is only place he can be naked.
Alright…we get it, YOU’RE BUTCH!
I really don’t think he should’ve went to these lengths to prove to us that he’s very much a butch bottom!
And a hot, thick one at that!
Bill loves football…always has, since he joined the Cuyahoga County Pee Wee League in 1987. He was never the big star in high school, but he never missed a practice and Coach could always rely on him to give 110 percent. And by the time his sophomore year rolled around, he knew two things: that he’d never be pro material, and that the shower room filled him with an odd mixture of secret pleasure and wistful isolation. But truth told, Bill didn’t mind. He knew that one day, he’d find the fullback of his dreams. College wasn’t really for him, but his ability to tinker and fix things meant that he’d never lack for a decent income, and living in Mom’s basement saved a lot of money. Check out Bill’s podcast ‘Torchwood Cleveland’ with all the latest fan fiction of Captain Jack’s sexual conquests in the midwest and his website ‘Special Teams and Tight Ends’.
I see absolutely nothing wrong here…I think he’s hunky hot and cute. Obviously he’s good with his hands judging by all the junk in the backgroud…Maybe, just maybe, he could teach me to program my blinking VC or better yet…hook up my DVD player.
I think the editors are getting soft here lately. Between this and the guy slinking on the blue satin sheets I think Lurid is going decidedly upscale.
I guess next we’ll have to buy a membership…
Tex,
Good observations, all.
Perhaps these recent “palette cleansers” were necessary to avoid further cases of sudden-onset glaucoma. It happens!
Well, focusing on the Digs and not the Digger… Why do I get the persistent feeling that there’s an abducted senator’s daughter down a well on the other side of that dry wall? [IT RUBS THE LOTION INTO ITS SKIN!] I think I even see a sewing machine in the background.
I don’t care WHAT he looks like, that crappy basement is a real boner-killer.
good observations tex. now you know we’re going to get a real humdinger of a dig next. I bet it’ll cause temporary blindness. even worse–i bet it’ll be mine! lol.
Are those DVDs on top of that TV??? Its like got a dial on it…..can you hook a DVD up to something that old??? I wonder what kind of porn they are……hmmmmm
That being said….I might let him fool around with me in that swanky green velour chair…
Birthmark or bad lighting…you be the judge. I hope he doesn’t use that black torchiere lamp in the background. They work much better with high ceilings, especially high ceilings in 1992.
I’ve been reading this site since Mr. Bear with the god-awful sunshine-yellow shower curtains. While I love the editors’ reviews of the decor, I think my fellow readers’ deconstructive comments are what keep me coming back.
I don’t for one moment entertain any fancies of being decor-savvy (I seem to be deficient in those genes), I do know that this room is something more out of one of the “Saw” movies than anything.
Either that or a subliminal advertisement for Mac (if you direct your line of sight slightly to the right from our host’s lovely penis, you’ll see).
And I’m with Tex on this one, I’d do him in a heartbeat.
Oh and yes, I think it is indeed a birthmark on his shoulder.
Squiffy,
Are you and Tex identical twins?
I think that’s someone’s discarded Apple sticker — you get two in every box of anything Apple — stuck to some indefinable object, but probably a generic Windows box.
Now c’mon, who wouldn’t do him if you could just silhouette him out of that horrific dank cellar?
am I the only one who is disappointed by the lack of beta-max?
My problem with this photo’s inclusion is not centred around the (admittedly, very cute) man, but rather that this photo has nothing to do with decor. This man totally eschews the idea that one must decorate, so it’s hard to criticize him — he’s not playing our game. Is the place, as Squiffy and Jimbo remark, totally serial-killer-esque? You bet. But it isn’t a decorating disaster. There’s been no such event.
Of course he’s smiling! You would be too, if you had his hidden cache of dozens of RCA television tubes in perfect working order. The DuMont television is hidden from view, but still gets great reception if: 1) you allow it to warm up for 30 minutes before watching the program you desire; and 2) adjust the aluminum foil on the rabbit ears, making sure they are at a 45 degree angle to the Mother-in-laws tongue which grows and shines so brightly on top of the television cabinet. I know there are butterfly ashtrays in that room somewhere, made in allied occupied Japan.
Damn, I like this guy. The background (apart from those horrible chartreuse velour chairs) adds rather than detracts from the hotness, like a posing by an abandoned factory or a railroad yard. But please tell me that’s somewhere other than his own house.
I love his smile. I love his chest. I love his arms. I love his thighs. I love the fact that he’s not just a headless mangina like so many of the other pics.
Can I take him home with me?
I agree with Otto and Frank. This is not a lurid digs shot. This is a fantasy shot of making it in the basement with your hot neighbor. Voice from above, “What are you boys doing down there?”
id suck his cock