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Steve: I don’t think anyone appriciates subtlety any longer. Elegance. The quality of small-ish, less ostentatious furniture. This tiny little recliner, originally designed with a Schnauzer in mind, says, “small furniture can make a big statement,” or perhaps it says, “I may be tiny, but I pack a wallop.”
To the left (to the left) we see everything you own in a box a tiny little card table with a delicate table cloth fit for a princess, and the start of what we must assume is another, matching tiny recliner.
Matching and pares. That’s the theme here: two ferns, two tiny recliners, two tiny tables with two tiny table cloths. In ancient Rome, this would be the the beginning of a seduction ritual which would inevitably lead us to the pleasure to be found from two tiny nipples.
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I actually had a stay at this inn - a wonderful little place outside of Palma de Mallorca. The owners - Sergio and Pepe (born “Alfred”) were perfect hosts. You see here the sitting room - the furniture is actually normal sized. While it may seem that the recliner is miniature - the fact of the matter is that the man is well over 7 feet tall. A simple confusion of scale.
Seeing this picture now explains the curious stains on most of the chairs. I guess at some points in the season Sergio and Pepe have clothing optional weeks.
Really “Pepe” - cut velvet upholstery in the sultry weather of Mallorca? You Brits, er…I mean Spaniards.
Velvet upholstery, covered coffee tables and end tables…….Someone missed decorating in HOMO 101. That floor, peel and stick no doubt, makes me want to throw up a little. Who told these people that the chairs match the Wal-Mart special rug?
I feel that “Mop head” has to be visting his grandmother’s home. Perhaps she is in the hospital recovering from hip surgery and the flowerchild decided to have a little fun.
Oh my, could he be in the church parlor?
Tex, I am very curious, would you?
His chair may be little, but it has big dreams. Like those freaky little midget children on daytime talk shows.
Is that a third tiny velvet recliner there on the left behind the table? And, gods forbid, a matching ottoman in front of it? *shudder* Perhaps there’s also a miniature velvet-covered sofa lurking somewhere off camera!
That rug looks like the sort of thing overenthusiastic medieval re-enactors would have in the foyer in order to set off their fake coat of arms hanging majestically over the door to the den.
I’m so flattered! So you guys must be readers of my blog
Well I’m a huge fan of yours! Hilarious site!
Welcome to the Billy Barty Room at the Lillian Booth Actors’ Home in Englewood, New Jersey. The diminutive residents in this specialty retirement setting socialize with their extended-height brethren, of course, but love to retire to their own special parlor for evening games of Crazy Eight and Go Fish. Midnight sing-alongs can get a little rowdy when someone strikes up the theme from “The Addams Family” and everyone screams the line, “Neat! Sweet! Petite!”
Pictured is staff member Dub, who knows it’s safe to sneak off for a midday pud-pulling when the dining room is serving Shrimp Scampi and the parlor’s regular users are staying in their rooms to avoid the tired jokes of very old Rockettes.
Again I have to ask, who is taking this picture? This is clearly not a private room, so what is going on here? And that rug - the center “medallion” is not even in the center, unless my eyes deceive me. The floor, rug, furniture and tablecloths all have different patterns, this is like an Escher print on acid! Ironically, the only calming image in this photo is the man himself - at least he doesn’t have any swirly barbed-wire tattoos!
That poor, little chair! The horrors it must have seen over the years…! The oil stains and weary sag alone speak volumes! What a pity that he should be so generous with the doilies on the tables when they would have come in so handy on the seating.
Meanwhile - Lino?! In the living room?!?! I’d been content with the notion that such a thing was non-existent outside the trailer park but it would appear that I’ve been living in a fool’s paradise. And the faux-parquet pattern just makes it all the sadder.
P.S., Five’ll get you ten those plants are plastic.
I love Lambchop’s take, but get this guys; I can actually confirm Charles statement. While I never had the pleasure of meeting the owners (a woman was working as manager when I was there) this REALLY is a hotel in Mexico. Serious. I stayed there with my second boyfriend. I never expected a splinter from my past to surface HERE, but this particular place is certainly appropriate. There are actually six of those padded chairs huddled around the table. Four of them are visible in this photo, but they blend a bit with the rug. The plaster statue in the back is the Virgin de Guadalupe, and Jimbo wins his bet; the plants ARE plastic. Oh god, this is so friggin weird! I suppose it’s just a matter of time before I also recognize one of the models.
Having never posed nude, I can at least breath easy that I will never see myself pop up here, though I’ll confess I have been naked in interiors worthy of this site.
This room, at first glance, did not induce severe psychic trauma. It’s not as egregious as most rooms on this sight. But on closer inspection, there is something subtly wrong with it; the items in it just don’t go together. The scale of the chairs overpowers the rest of the furnishings and their color is just too dark for the room. The rug doesn’t provide the proper transition to tie the chairs to the rest of the room. It’s all slightly unnerving. The only thing in the room that would make me spend any time there is the naked hippie. Oh yeah, I’d sit on it. As a child of the 60’s, I’ve allways had an erotic fixation on men with long hair. Make love, not war.
A misguided ode to Japanese culture perhaps? That’s their dining room set! Little chairs near a low table… but there’s no green tea or miso soup in that household I assure you.
Okay…..
Everyone else is being very polite and saying nothing, as did I for the first 24 hours.
But the English tutor in me now asks, “pares, pears or pairs??”
Thank you, Jeff. The typo almost distracted me from Main Point of the photo.
This is actually not the living room. Check the shape, and yes thank god lino does not go in the living room. In that room, I assume we would find a threadbare carpet in a sun faded mauve. This is a “dinning room” joined off of the kitchen (tract housing circa 1981). The windows we see here are much to small to correspond with the big flat sliding widows that one would expect to find in a living room sporting this decor!
Honestly, the area rug is giving me dizziness. Firstly, it is oval, and the centerpeice should be set underneath the table, as obviously the chairs are set around it a la dining table of the Lollipop Guild. From the position of the chairs and Gulliver’s left leg, it looks like the rug SHOULD be round, but the center medallion just throws everything out of whack. Couple that with the bizarre pairing (spelled correctly, mind you) of the carpet-that-got-a-little-french-curve-happy with the geometric Art Deco-esque linoleum applique flooring, and you’ve got a migraine waiting to pounce on you in the middle of the night…..
Wait a minute! Oh My God - I think Luke is right! Those tiny, velvet recliners are actually dining room chairs and that atrocious, over-sized coffee table is actually the dining ro…
I have to go lie down.
I was right. It was going to be painful.
Update your flooring time line, ladies. Linoleum was the 1950s! Upon closer inspection, it’s Congoleum ™ - the pattern gives it away!
GOD NO….Even I have standards
Thank goodness, Tex.
There is still some semblance of order in the universe, although it passed right over this abode.
This has GOT to be in some eastern european country…I’ve just never seen furniture this breathtakingly ugly.
Tex thanks. I there were standards somewhere. I am just glad you drew the line at this one!!!
No Jimbo. The dinning room is set up like a sitting room. Probably because while it’s easy to find coffee tables and ugly sitting chairs at garage sales and thrift stores, a dinning room table is not as easy come by. The whole thing screams college decor (you know where 8 people all bring their grandma’s old furniture), so maybe this guy has been studying journalism for the last 20 years.
this is making my soul ache painfully. please, take it away!
I’m not completely convinced that this guy is not, in fact, a fairytale giant. Fee Fie Fo Fum…
Anybody got a good rhyme for “fum”? Or maybe we should ask the model in a couple of seconds?
i am your big fan, i want to meet you & suck your……………..Plsssssssssss
Onething i will tell u frankely, ur cock disturbing me, i want it
There’s a queer conjoining of this guy’s chest and head hair, which adds a little je ne sais quoi to the overall organic roundness found a-plenty within this past attempt at a stylish interior.
There’s an empty plant pot/saucer, perhaps for dead kittie, both of which expired whilst our host was out trawling the high seas for a fish supper, or some salty seaman to come back for the night - there’s plenty of seating here, after all!
The spirals, swirls and other odd shapes have left me feeling somewhat queasy, possibly an attempt to entrance visitors who have the misfortune to stumble in. Our host bills himself as a long haired tranny to locals on craigslist, or the outback equivalent, with a shimmering long mane of lustrous hair; he forgets to mention his facial hair, but once inside guests are seen to regardless.
By night, Herman makes lace fancies, throws etc which he sells at a local flea market to the aging locals.