Steve: At a certain point, a snapshot gets so weird that it turns into fine art unless it is also a crime photo, which this isn’t (in the traditional sense of that term).
Things that could have made it ever art-ier: live birds, something burning, another man of strikingly similar appearance but shorter, his mother also nude, hundreds of pieces of fruit.
File Under:For the hell of it
54 Responses to 'It Must Have Been Art, But It’s Over Now'
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David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
John Calendo is the Executive Editor of Nightcharm, and a life-long Pop Critic @ Large. His work has appeared in Playboy, Blueboy and boy oh boy everything in between.
Shawn hails from New York and is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
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Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Steve is a lost sort of man who zones out, easily, into the foreheads of strangers. He keeps a blog of his drawings here.
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The most tastelessly decorated pop-top trailer EVER. Also believe that the proper place for mouthwash IS in the kitchen. In a Mouthwash Caddy, sharing the tight space with a pot holder. And I think I see a tube-of-lube in the spice rack…or is that ‘roid cream?
I bet you can squeal like a pig. Weeeeeeee!
How sad when even the stuffed plush bear is laughing at you.
I like it that the blonde “wood” panelling brings out a rosy hue to his skin. He might blend in otherwise.
I would have asked him to square his shoulders for the shoot - as the aluminum top rail shows the asymmetry of his torso which is not in true contraposto -he just has a low shoulder. So much for getting that shot as a greek sculpture.
At least the stuffed bear is happy to have his picture made.
Am i the only one that is just a little bit frightened by this….
I can hear a banjo playing in the background.
Oh. Good. Lord! This is perhaps the most jaw-dropping of all the photos on this site. And jaw-dropping in NOT a good way. Are you sure this is not a crime photo? Just what is in that microwave? At least I don’t think I see a freezer.
The stuffed bear is not smiling, he’s pleading to be released from this hell-hole.
Tex baby, I am sure you won’t be going for this “pop-up”!!!!!!! But on the other hand he obviously wears dentures, although not in this Olan Mills photo.
Someone should remove the fire extinguisher, because if that thing catches fire, it should just burn.
um is that a portable urinal on the right?
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit….
The most tastelessly decorated pop-top trailer EVER.
Pop-top trailer, or hastily-finished guest bedroom/kitchenette with a pop-top (um) top slapped on just to get the job done before the cousins arrive?
Tex, I take back that comment about you having all the others. I think we should both sit this one out.
The reality of what it means to live IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER. Not so funny, is it?
Again - could he possibly have achieved romantic liaisons based on this “invitation”? The mind boggles.
That poor bear…
He forgot to put his teeth in! I bet he’s ALOT cuter with teeth……
The only thing that looks REMOTELY happy is the chieshire-cat grin his pubes are doing at the moment…
No wonder God makes tornadoes strike trailer homes first. He is obviously looking for THIS place…
Darn it, I meant cheshire!
That wonderful blond-wood formica. The beautiful hand-sewn curtains over the table. Really, this a trailer to die in, I mean, for…
Tex, I have to echo the concerns…you won’t say yest to this one, will you???
That should be yes—this dig’s horror has harmed my spelling.
What’s so “Horrifying Gay Amateur Interiors” about this?
Oh, it’s all quite horrific, but this guy is certainly not GAY.
Is he? Oh, God…
Is it wrong that I can virtually smell the scene, get turned on and imagine sucking his tangy/yeasty/chubby uncut cock?
No. Putting his teeth in wouldn’t help.
This photo, more than the others posted here, reminds me of why people take these photos.
They take them to show off … to offer “their goods” to perspective sex partners or future lovers. In the case of people living in strangely decorated rooms, one can go along with the idea; this guy thinks his sponge painted walls and Hummel collection rule, so of course he’s happy to pose in front of them with a hard on.
But this guy looks level headed (at least literally). Doesn’t he know that almost everyone is going to be suspicious of an adult who lives in a trailer, A VERY SMALL TRAILER?
And where is it parked?
My guess is in the garage of his parent’s home. Morbid curiosity makes me want to see WHO (if anyone, or what, if anything) would respond to such an ad.
Oh give the poor homely dude a break.
This is his holiday/camping trailer;
just hoping to find a bit of company to
share his lonely adventure with.
He keeps the place tidy enough,
tho’ it isn’t appealing it does appear clean.
Certainly it lacks space, aesthetics and luxury,
as he appears too large and awkward for it;
but it is meant to just be functional.
Guess I’m just too compassionate,
for he reminds me of an “old” pathetic friend
I’ve not heard from in a long while
Well, back to decor. I appreciate the fire extinguisher as a style element. So few of the mundane functional items we see among these artistic dick pics really add to the the palette.
Yet, the behold the extinguisher: color that pops, material contrast between the cold smooth metal and the flexible rubber sprayer and…not to be ignored in context…the echo of the mighty phallus. It says, “You make me hot. I’m burning up. Pull out the pin and squeeze. Yeah, squeeze it hard. Mmmm. Oh, the viscous fluid is rising, rising, ready to shoot out and cover the flames of my desire. Yes! Smother me! Yes! Yes! Do it! Ahhhh…oh, yeah!”
Or something like that.
So the guy can’t smile, but the chinless stuffed toy can to compensate for the host. Fema settled some of its katrina trailers near to fishing hotspots, allowing this displaced resident to take one of the older ‘character’ trailers off its hands with glee.
The fire extinguisher is used in place of any air-con, as this place sure gets hot. Our host is looking for some style tips, and has placed a soda can, colouring matches the host’s skin tone, to help ‘Queer Eyes for the trailer guy’ guides to help him dress to kill, rather than doing it naked.
That’s a jug of drinking water not a portable urinal, gods be praised. Although the placement of toiletries in such close proximity to the microwave and kitchenette table is worrying.
I think this is some kind of Bizarro World photo of Bill Murray, had his acting career ended a *lot* sooner.
Hank, yes that is wrong.
I just noted….is that red thing next to his Water né Urinal thing a FLESHLIGHT???
You know…
This is EXACTLY where a guy that looks like him would live! The only thing missing is the rancid scent of bacon grease, Marlboro Lights, poppers and old work boots.
I just want to watch him make grilled cheese sandwiches all day long as I stretch out and wait on the inflatable mattress.
He gots a grape soda.
John Waters LIVES ON! It is clear that Edith Massey has been reincarnated male and yet still cannot escape her basic enclosure from that paragon of Bad Taste PINK FLAMINGOS.
And after all why should she ever TRY?! I bet there’s EGGS. Some may have yet to be sucked.
And on a more personal note, after having grown up in Indiana with no money, I do believe I’ve stayed here! The smell looks familial…
(EDITOR: No that’s not a typo. I meant familial and NOT familiar. That’s comedy!)
For the love of everything I hold dear….I only do men with necks and 75% of their own teeth.
I DO have standards you know…low though they may be.
Everyone made such a fuss after the big machine over in Chernobyl explo… err … was retired, then the red army came and, well Yuri just found a nice secluded spot near the town and set up his own little home away from home. Sure it gets a little lonely but he has Andropov his mascot bear from the Olympics to keep him company. When his left hand began melting and he grew an extra left nipple, Yuri simply sucked in his chin, and grinned, and said…the sun’ll come out, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar….
Tex…I was worried for a second there!
Rick’s comment rules. It says everything.
I can’t add to the above comments, and as mean as some are (Keith Dunn, you may have gone too far - I’m glad Edith Massey is no longer with us to know of your ignoble comparison), I wouldn’t begin to argue with them. But can anyone help me out with something? What is the item on the dining/kitchen table on the right side of the photo, the item that looks a little like a small, molded-plastic toilet tank? It’s in front of the fire extinguisher and behind the… um… flashlight? Beer-bottle-coloured vase? Whatever… that’s not important. It’s the white container that’s haunting my nights. It looks like it contains liquid. Is it water? Mountain Dew? Urine? Pickling brine? Please! Help!
Rock Bottom: LucienX gave the correct answer. Drinking water comes in bottles like that. The odd shape is from the fact that this large container has a built in handle on the top and that the bottles are stackable. This one is on it’s back side, but when upright there is a little spout near the base that can be flipped on and off so that you don’t have to lift the whole thing (which is heavy when full).
I know it’s an unfair question, and which can be applied to nearly all the photos here, but really
WTF was he thinking???
Does he really think this is hot?
The last time I saw decor like this was on the 11:00 news, under prerecorded narration by the field reporter who was about to go live with interviews of shocked neighbors recalling the slain crazed gunman who “pretty much kept to himself”.
It’s interesting to note, however, that Frank Gehry used sanded and sealed plywood extensively on interior surfaces of Walt Disney Concert Hall in LA. Perhaps this guy is an architecturally savvy music lover who just can’t afford to live the whole dream. (THAT’S how much hope I am filled with after Obama’s speech on Thurs!!!!)
He’s even got the third nipple!
You forgot the 3rd nipple.
I think he looks a little like Bill Murray, but squished.
Okay, girls…….
This guy gets 41 (now 42!) comments and the editors institute rationing on “pas comme il faut” décor!
I feel faint. Break out the bubbly and let’s move on to the next specimen!
Sign me,
So totally over looking at someone from my Old Kentucky Home.
From: firstdude@trailerpark.wassilia.alaska.usa
To: Sarah@whitehouse.gov
January 20, 2012
Dear Sarah,
I dunno if you remember me but we used to rule this little ole town before you were raptured into the big white house 4 years ago. You left me here in our warm, cozy trailer, making me swear to take care of our kids while you were away doing greater things. Our eldest, Track, who finally after a lot of social torture saw the sense of signing up for deployment in Iraq to help further your career, has spent the last 4 years in Iraq as your boss Mr McSame had promised. Jack, who used to be a midshipman but now scores somewhere in downtown San Diego, lord knows what. I haven’t heard lately from Jimmy, who in between marine deployments was moonlighting on activeduty.com, but he assures me he is as big a star as you among his key demographics. Bristol and Levi and their 4 kids live in the next door trailer. I’m all by myself here now since you left and took Trig to Washington. You said he’d make a more focused White House pet than a dog ever could.
So here’s a pic of me to put on your VP desk and so you can think of happier times.
Your first dude, Todd
Despite the panelling, “plush toy,” curtains, collapsed gums, etc, it’s so naggingly familiar… Now I understand: It’s the tidiness. Fastidiousness. Perhaps obsessiveness. That could be me.
Uroskin wins the thread…..That was AWESOME!
At least he has some listerine back there, so he may have awesome oral hygiene. Though no teeth.
Hasn’t this been up long enough?
I think I fucked that guy once.
What can I say? I lived on the Oklahoma/Texas border. There weren’t many options!
Um…is that Peter Griffin?
Kudos…Kudos…Marky Mark has come out of retirement! I would know that superfluous third nipple under his left tit anywhere! Tell us Marky what have you and the “Funky Bunch” been up to? It’s obvious all the late night cramming for your in-trailer taxidermy and interior decoratin’ courses has caused some unfortunate eating habits. I’m super-pumped to see you back in the spotlight and hope for your sake you can get the…come on, come on, feelin’, feelin’ back again!
XOXO, Your biggest fan
Am I the only one who’s getting a Down Syndrome vibe off of him. Look at the jaw line and the oddly set eyes.
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The surroundings has like no special taste, but it’s neat, and methinks, he does the best out of it, whether you like the weird teddy bear on the left or not.
Well, at least he has a candle and fake flowers to cheer up the place. The bear does look like he’s pleading for release—-oh, what that poor bear has seen!!! I agree with a few other posts, I think he’d be much cuter with teeth and a smile. A little man grooming wouldn’t hurt either. He DOES look like a squished Bill Murray!!!!! “It’s a Cinderella story. He makes the shot…” I hope this guy got some hits from his posts and passed a good time playing p-nuckle and drinking cheap whiskey. So, is there a window in that place?? I see curtains. But, I thought the zippers were the windows. Pretty fancy!!
Now, off to Savon for eye cups and Boric Acid!