Richard:“Hello there! Welcome to Eastabuchie Falls and the Holiday Tour of Homes! I am your host, Mr. Clyde Teasdale. We will begin this segment of the tour in my own bedroom. I call this room the “Babar Room”, which is funny, because it sounds a little like “bedroom” if you slur! Or if you’re drunk! But really I call it the “Babar Room” because it is where I house my collection of elephants. Don’t worry, they aren’t real! Mostly they’re stuffed. There are some bears here, too, because I couldn’t fit any more in the “Bear Room”–which also sounds like “bedroom”, even though it’s actually a toilet! I recently installed a life-sized human bear sculpture made of butter next to the bear rug by the bed. I’ve fitted him with those blue things–what do you call them? caraway? carabiners?–so I can hang more bears from his teats. And frilly bear panties! I’m whimsical! (I apologize for the pig on the dresser, though. Conception must have left it here while cleaning the “Babe Room”. She hates that room so much.)”
File Under:Bedroom Terrors | Violations of Space
45 Responses to 'Welcome to Eastabuchie Falls and the Holiday Tour of Homes'
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I don’t think I’ve ever been more afraid in my life.
Oh, ye gods!
Who knows what it is to be running?
Only he who is running, running………knows.
Oh shit ! NO ! NO!!
My eyes !
I see some stuffed elephants in the room, this MUST be John McCain’s brother.
Can even imagine what my therapist is gonna have to say to return my sanity to me after seeing this shit. So wrong, JUST WRONG!
Oh, Good Lord! Just kill me now!
‘Tho the P.D.Q. Bach reference almost eased the pain, Jeff. Thank you.
I just noticed something… Why are his knees all dusty??
Could this be some weird BDSM punishment for a bad blowjob??
“Damnit Clyde! Ten minutes in stuffed animal isolation. NOW!”
“And on this farm he had no class, E.I.E.I.O!”
“With a plush thing here, and a nipple clamp there, here a plush, there a clamp, everywhere is fulla crap”
“Old Man Fetish had a farm, E.I.E.I.O.!”
Oh my god. The stuffed menagerie, the crochet-gowned doll, the repulsive bedspread and hideous wallpaper, the white socks with lacy undies, even the barn-shaped shadow box, all are sapping my will to live. And yet I can’t stop staring at this tragedy of a room.
Poor Clyde might just as well have a sign around his neck that says, “Musclebound Was Here.”
Doesnt he know, “no white socks after labor day”!
His next self portrait shows him tripping over that open dresser drawer.
Buddy X,
Oh no you didn’t!!!!
Ahahahahah I never had such fun on the net since years!
I love all the decorations, from the little elephants to the big one with the titclamps!
XXX from Rome, Italy (yesss!)
He’s straight. This has come up before: how the title of this website suggests these pictures prove false the myth that being homosexual is enough to give one taste … and certainly there are many winning examples. But the editors have managed to slip in some tasteless heterosexuals as well, which of course only supports the flip side of that myth.
Not complaining really, just saying that (for reasons too long to explain) I know a straight man who fancies himself “kinky” when I see one. Many clues, but the biggest is the drag. Only a straight man would wear that. And only a straight man would think being a 12 year old girl is a wild sexual fantasy; gay men ARE 12 year old girls in everyday life.
omg, everywhere you look it’s chaos. from the ceiling to the floor. i say set this room on fire. let the insurance company figure it out!
Okay, now that the shock value has worn off and I can look at this photo without a major case of the Dry Heaves setting in, a few words about the decor. I think the wallpaper is not too bad, when you compare it to all the dreck in front of it. The carpet is, well, neutral blah; perhaps a good steam-cleaning would perk it up. The bedding is a complete horror, yet another over-busy component in this over-busy room. And as to this gut( I mean this guy) being straight, isn’t that a photo of a naked man over his left shoulder?
I hear clown music.
Have the lambs stopped screaming yet Clarice?
I have to disagree with garry. The wallpaper might get a pass if we’re grading on a curve, but I see no reason to be so generous.
The duvet and dust ruffle, however, are so hideous I can’t even think of something clever to say. Fail.
I do give him extra credit for having spare clothespins on the dresser. It’s always nice to think of others.
Which dust ruffle do you mean, Otto? The one on the bed or the one he’s wearing?????????
MMmmmmm….plushies!!!
I didn’t read the rest of the comments so forgive me if it has already been mentioned but Are those chip clips?
No one will ever convince me that as an adult it is acceptable to collect stuffed toys. No way. No how. It is a signal of some odd hangover from your stunted childhood.
And no, you don’t get a pass if the “collection” of said stuffed toys is thematic.
I defend every grown-up’s right to collect stuffed toys! My sister has been collecting bears for years. She’s a quite well-adjusted adult. Her whole house is a “bear room” and she’s not even gay!!
Yes, I was wonderinge about the tit clamps: they look more like something to close a bag of chips that to inflict any even small amount of pain.
The real question is, gentlemen, why does he leave that drawer open? What mysterious design speaks out the interplay of white an block cloth?
My fear is that this is in fact his teenage daughter’s room, into which he has slipped for chip clip and ladies’ unmentionables fun.
Thanks, LucienX. With your last comment, this photo went from creepy to Incredibly Creepy.
Dear Wine and Cheese,
We reviewed some of your previous posts, and you seem consistently too busy to read others’ posts. You must do nails at the mall. Most of us work very hard to entertain the rest with insightful yet whitty comments….so the least you could do is read them honey.
We know you have hard time focusing since you saw that “Coyote snout cock” you liked so much but try to muddle through dear, it’ll all work out. There will be some freaky cock that strikes your fancy before too long.
And as for Musclebound, Buddy X and Tex, you guys sound fucking HOT!
This does not appear to be a self-timer based portrait. So the intriguing questions are, “Who was the photographer, and what was s/he wearing?”
RedBackFur remarks: “So the intriguing questions are, “Who was the photographer, and what was s/he wearing?””
Answer: Halston.
Ah, I should have known!
he’s got ashy knees!!! Oh my god, he bought my childhood bedroom dresser at my mother’s estate sale last year!
Ya’ll are missing the point to this photograph. Clyde is showing us the duvet cover and matching pillow shams that he quilted. He is basically demonstrating that his lovely, green-on-red crosshatch pattern will stand out and above anything else that may occupy the room.
Does anyone else here wonder if any of those plushies have holes drilled in them for… ya know… stuffing?
I’m fascinated, too, by his stylist/aesthetician
(that is, only as it informs our understanding of the decor):
The dyed hair on top (gently swept by an off-camera fan?),
the trim mustache,
and the wax job below his man-breasts.
I… But… When did… If you could just… Is there a… So… How does…
Huh?
I may be scarred for life. Or scared for life. Whichever.
yikes.
I was turned on.
Don’t you just know when he (direct quote) “goes a flyin’ through the air to do (his) patented, frilly-goes-a-belly bustin’ SWAN DIVE” on the unfortunate Victorian-inspired, lead and stained glass, oak veneer and particle board WATERBED that those big,blue nipple clamps are going to rupture the already strained seams of his waterbed liner…tragically, flooding his entire single-wide trailer home…MY GOD, think of all the displaced plushies and stuffed animals…Please, please think before you act, Mr. Teasdale! What about the plushies? Think about the plushies!
Jesus loves you , too, honey
but we think you even deserve more than that
no, honey, we think you even NEED more than that
i joiend to you
God, I only can hope that he’s NOT gay, because he’d be such
an outrageous disgrace to the gay community, oohhhh fuck
LucienX nailed it- This is the teenaged daughter’s room.
As far as dusty knees- I’m thinking Idaho Senator Larry Craig’s stop in in Minneapolis airport…
But actually my first reaction was similar to that of the elephant on the far right of the WATERBED headboard. My head fell back and I LAUGHED… I just wish my ears covered my eyes like his do…
Is it any wonder the damn chips are always stale!???!?
“…I’m a Toys-R-Us kind of kid…”
you guys got it all wrong. HE doesn’t own the stuffed aminals, the stuffed amimals OWN HIM! this is obviously just a twisted Master/slave sceanario concocted by the panda, aka SIR PANDA SIR to humilate his boi.
That is the worst impression of the BTK killer I’ve ever seen.