Steve: It is a testament to the power of a handsome face that I remain focused on that particular attribute of this photo, given that it is a boundless sea of the dingy and embarrassing, in which everything that has survived the fire now serves either as an ash tray, piggy bank, or combination ash tray/piggy bank.
I can barely breathe.
File Under:Calvacade of Calamities | Hot Anyway | Living Room Wreckage
32 Responses to '“Care Bear… SCARE!”'
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Can we talk about what seems to be about 6 or 7 dildos molded into a castle in the corner?
He is hot, though…so who cares?
HAHA Robert,
I was gonna say…
I totally thought that was a matching set of dildos! =P
The three blinking sunburst eyes in the background have very wide pupils. I’m suspecting some LSD has come into play…especially based on the melting sheets and melting large penis our boy is showing.
He’s straight. And I bet he smokes a LOT of weed.
Jeff - If he smokes that much weed I don’t think he’d be so straight.
But the decor - awful - who came up with those awful cheap fabric prints that seem so prevalent? I mean, they have no redeeming features.
What is that weird crap hanging on the wall over the bed? Why would anyone consider this an aesthetically pleasing object?
However - the man, yes, he makes up for everything else… I can teach him how to decorate later
I saw a community theater production of The Miracle Worker in my hometown. The Keller family was gathered round a table for dinner, but later the lights came up on another scene and what seemed like the solid wall of the dinning room dissolved and we could magically see through the house.
Here is another set by the same local theater company for a play that shows the later years of Helen Keller. All the furniture is aimed towards the audience (or as they say in theater, “the forth wall”). The designer (whose day job is organizing pick-ups for the Salvation Army) has chosen to symbolize Helen’s blindness by cluttering the small stage with things that assault the eyes and an assortment of brail-like kitsch. The back wall of the living room magically dissolves to reveal the bedroom behind, though in this production they were too cheap to get the scrim, so instead you just see everything at once.
They also couldn’t afford theatrical lighting, which is why you see what becomes a rather ironic clip on “reading lamp” on the four-poster—it’s for the more intimate scenes (this is some racy experimental shit, man!).
The Lite beer drinker center? Oh, he’s a stagehand and a good friend of the designer. After hours, things are pretty casual in … (dramatic pause) … Theater.
Ahh, what a sad comment on the current economic crisis. After the small bank, which is close to failure, foreclosed on Jimbo’s McMansion, he has been forced to live in the local Goodwill. And, since his employer had to cut costs and lay him off, he now works hard for his money by entertaining fat cat, closeted Republican Gentleman Callers.
To add to the irony, he plans to vote for McCain ’cause he thinks Palin is soooo hot.
All right guys, I apologize for going all political. NOT.
You just know that couch smells like beer farts, having said that, he’s kind of hot in an ‘uncle Bob with the big dick’ kind of way.
there’s just something hot about an attractive naked man wearing a watch with a silver band. Though, I long for the day when tattoos in odd places or in excess are considered tacky as well.
To the left under the end table, a big tin of popcorn….late night munchies. Mom gave him a new quilt for Christmas. Not wanting to soil it. He hangs it on the wall. What a good boy!! Toy car on bedside table, still a boy at heart.,,,,,i bet while he’s screwing you into the next world he spits in your mouth…..and you love him even more,,,
This guy seems chipper and relaxed and most of the room, while entirely tasteless, is relatively non-threatening. That is, until you get to the end table with the Care Bear and hideous plastic clown. Those are profoundly disturbing, perhaps even evidence of some deep, underlying wrongness. Kind of like having your sweet Aunt Myrtle serve you cookies and tea and suddenly noticing that she has a string of human finger bones around her neck.
On another note…Tex? Well?
I’m sorry, but how has no one commented on the chesterfield? Did it strike you all with temporary blindness? It is the Official Slayer of Erections.
I don’t know what in the hell you bitches are talking about. All I saw was a thick cock and a huge set of balls (which BTW I wish were bruising my ass right now)
Michael S, you are all over it. Decorate later, pillow talk now!!
The castle is a candle. A CANDLE!
Would someone please take some smelling salts over to Buddy X and revive that sad ol’ bitch!!! We haven’t heard from her or Tex on this one, they must be beating themselves silly.
I like it!! This guy is hot! Nevermind the trash around him.
Furnishings = A sea of uninterrupted neutrals.
Accoutrements = A flotsam & jetsam of Middle American Mom kitsch.
The cognitive dissonance is… arresting to say the least. I mean, based solely on the bed, the sofa and the beer I would have said “straight” for sure. But then you toss in the care bear and the couch throw (that looks disturbingly like a Hebrew prayer shawl) and that meager if multifarious cluster of fey candles and I’m suddenly not so sure. But I’m guessing Marlboros aren’t the only things he smokes, if you catch my drift.
LOVE your theatrical analysis, rear_window!
That room is a mess. A hot mess. Melted, emptied, post-masturbation sweaty balls. Red dick from using tobacco stained spit for lube.
Then I saw it.
THAT CLOWN. Guarding his ’smokes.
I FUCKING HATE CLOWNS.
Nothing else matters now in that room. I’m ruined.
P.S. I doubt he’s a long time stoner. No Møøbs to speak of.
Thanks Jimbo. All the world is a backstage, or something like that.
I’m with you on the uncertainty … and the wishful thinking. There is SO MUCH information here it’s hard to say which way he swings. Judging solely by the lack of any right angles I would guess he goes wherever the breeze blows. Pun intended.
Must stop staring at computer screen…someone help! Need rest.
Does anyone else want to look under that suspiciously-shaped mound of sheets on the bed?
My two guesses are:
1) The “Keep It Real-Hairy Pits and Legs” Granola-Girl Blow-up Doll
or
2) A Candle Magic Machine(Castles in the Sky and Hey Dude Mushroom candle-molds included)
I thought the faded couch colours nicely framed his absolutely divine tan-lined thighs. And who am I to refuse a couch session with him?
What interior???
Despite the eclectic collection from his childhood this man is welcome any time!
three words….
Hobo Clown (and I think it may be one) Candle
Enough said.
Why do I keep seeing Howie Mandel when I look at this pic (maybe before Deal or No Deal) ?
I’d love to catch him setting on my couch like that some after work evening. Woof!!!
is that a bed… or another couch in thebackground??? Either way he looks like hubby material. i’d sit next 2 him just as naked and happy. im more of a Carona kinda guy tho
What a HOTTIE!!!!
if ine looks closely at most of these snaps one can ascertain they have been clearly photoshopped
if one looks closely at most of these snaps one can ascertain they have been clearly photoshopped