 |
Steve: There’s a lot of motion here, in terms of the layout of this unusual and challenging space, but also in terms of the camera man, who I believe may have been falling over, or struggling to escape at the moment this photo was taken.
As far as how much slave labor was involved in the creation of the decor, I can estimate between seventy-five and one-hundred hours, which seems all the more futile given that all of this was purchased on clearance, some place with flickering fluorescent bulbs and a soundtrack of Faith Hill blaring over the faulty speaker system at a warehouse in Decatur, Alabama.
None of that detracts from the "sassy factor," however, which is clearly off the charts. Not even looking back.
File Under:Calvacade of Calamities | Living Room Wreckage
32 Responses to 'Prince Kyle of the (Bargain) Jungle'
Leave a Reply
David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
John Calendo is the Executive Editor of Nightcharm, and a life-long Pop Critic @ Large. His work has appeared in Playboy, Blueboy and boy oh boy everything in between.
Shawn hails from New York and is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
Heather Corinna is the undisputed diva of online erotica for chicks. She publishes Scarleteen.com and is a sex guru to thousands of teenagers.
Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Steve is a lost sort of man who zones out, easily, into the foreheads of strangers. He keeps a blog of his drawings here.
- Bathroom Abominations
- Bedroom Terrors
- Beyond Horrifying
- Calvacade of Calamities
- Closet Catastrophes
- Curb Upheaval
- Dens From Hell
- Dining Room Don'ts
- Floral Attack
- For the hell of it
- Fucked Up Foyers
- Haunted Hallways
- Hot Anyway
- Kitchen Kitsch
- Living Room Wreckage
- Loopy Lighting
- Must Haves
- Something Different
- Suffocating Sofas
- Violations of Space
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- Jake Cruise
- MALEFLIX
- Military Classified
- Men at Play
- Sean Cody
- Bi Curious
- Three Pillows
- Boy's First Time
- Nightcharm: Naked Men & Gay Porn Fun
- Dainty Bastard
- G Day
- Gay Sex Magic eCards
- Gideonse Bible
- He Said He Did
- It’s Not You, It’s Me
- Lord Arthur
- Mean Dirty Pirate
- My Cat Threw Up on my Ferragamos
- Put ‘em All on an Island
- Queer Bites
- STARFUCKER
- Wayne’s Nude Musicians
- Yuppie Punk
© 2008 Nightcharm Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of this site may be reproduced without the writen permission of the owner.
Who the fuck is this? Georgette of the Jungle?
And he looks just so excited and downright proud of what he’s created. (Or is he freezing to death in this coverted attic apartment? The body language could go either way)
I hope that giraffe bends down in the middle of the night and nips him!
PS- Love the Wonder Woman Power Bracelets.
The jungle print explosion is just too, too jarring against the stark white of the walls. A pale green or tan wall color would be much better. The white walls just screams for a more minimal scheme. And the industrial wine bar sticks out like the proverbial sore dick. So where is his?
Now for my fashion question-Where did Kyle find a cast-off Jolly Green Giant tunic to fit?
I’ll try to be nice here. I do have to give props to the “decorator” hired for the project. When the owner said - “really anything as long is it fits with my jungle theme” - they went for it. Of course, the budget was $50 and they only had 4 hours to make it happen.
I’m going to ignore what the gentleman is wearing. I think he might be the decorator, rather than the client.
This bitch looks way too happy to be stuck in this room. But it looks as though she’s hit the yard sale JACKPOT!!!! I like “horse dick’s” room better.
I am just……..scared. His face, his body language, the room, the giraffe, it is too much, I am over stimulated and NOT in a good way. I need to go take a pill. Oy!
“Despite being eventually rescued and returned to society, his long years in the jungle permanently left poor Robinson Crusoe’s gay, younger brother, Dale Crusoe, indelibly yearning for more giraffe dick, for it was his only source of pleasure on the island.”
Its all very Tarzan butch until you see that frickin’ fairy butterfly by the bar. SISSY!!
Excuse me?
Tarzan BUTCH?
Girlfriend looks like she rummaged through Mary Martin’s *and* Johnny Weissmüller’s closets!
And did you see the choker?
No-no-no. That does not compute.
Now, I *will* say that he probably looks downright yummy in the buff. Nice pecs peeking through, and certainly more than a hint of hefty jungle vine. He’d make a lovely cabana boy in that get-up.
He knew what he wanted and he got it. Being scatter-brained myself I generally admire people with focus, even if I don’t like what they do with it. I mean IF you subtract the Holocaust, Hitler had some interesting accomplishments. And this guy is certainly as controlling over his environment; note that no one is asked what they want to drink … there is only ONE drink–and chances are it has a jungle motif on the label.
Even more admirable is he has accomplished his vision well under budget (as many have already pointed out). A simple black three-for-five-dollar tee shirt makes him the ruler of this Never Never Land. This is Peter after the overthrow of Hook. Why do even the good guys end up corrupted with a smidgen of power?
That OR, this is one of those theme brothels in Amsterdam, one of the cheaper ones,
and our he is just some john fitted with the one-size-fits-all “survivor tee shirt” that the girl who is working him will tear off later in “wild” passion. She will do a lot of cat growling and frequently offer him a drink which, if he says yes to, will run up the tab very quickly.
No guys - look at the desperation in his eyes - the owner/decorator lured him home, drugged and dressed him and his holding a loaded gun as well as a camera. This guy is scared, wants out and is doing all he can not make Tarzania angry.
Decorating don’ts abound here - velour leopard-skin print just never works. The giraffe is just… ugly…
But someone has a green thumb. Or else all the giraffe shit makes a wonderful fertiliser
Crystal Meth meets The Lion King.
In general, I think a good decorating rule of thumb is: if it’s taller than you, don’t buy it.
I’m mostly freaked out buy the poster on the left. What is going on there? Some sort of skull + pyramid motif? It adds an altogether unwelcome fascist element to the scene.
And garry, he totally bought that t-shirt from the Gap and made it into his George of the Jungle/Peter Pan costume/sex aid. Either that or sister has a Brother sewing machine behind all that foliage.
Look, each of us celebrates Halloween in our own way. This gentleman has appropriately chosen to dress up as a Gay male version of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. But then he blows it by mistaking her leopard-skin sofa for an invitation to go crazy with a jungle theme against winter-white walls rather than the Whorehouse-meets-House of Horrors motif that is Elvira’s trademark. So… Concept:10, Execution: 3.
But how nice to see that he’s already lined up bottles of cheap-assed Merlot as potential give-aways in expectation of the evening’s little trick-or-treaters!
In all other aspects of this visual calamity, I bow to Charles’ superlative analysis.
I think this guy may be gay.
Oh, honey……
Whatever tipped you off?
Just to the right of him there seems to be another giraffe leg, which would mean that there are TWO of those in the room. Counting the two tiny ones on the bar in the background, that’s be four. Four giraffes. Yeah. That plus the evil Toon-like gleam in his eye…brr!
Oh, good Lord, LucienX, you’re right. On closer examination, I can see the second shooter, I mean giraffe’s butt peeking out from the edge of Kyle’s waist and I can detect the giraffe’s head behind his head. I have the feeling this guy is, or knows, a department store decorator. Store displays always have three items of varied heights. I wonder where the third giraffe of the set is. And I bet the greenery is plastic.
i think you’re all waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off.
this is a gay giraffe’s room, and kyle the mannequin is part of his terrifying halloween display.
the bottles in the background aren’t cheap merlot, they’re beer.
longneck, of course.
LucienX
I once dated a guy in highschool (so like 4 years ago for me lol) who had an array of giraffes in his bedroom, I mean literally dozens, from 3 inch glass sculptures to 9 foot tall monstrosities.
Upon my first introduction to his bedroom, I rather rudely guessed, “Wow, someone really likes giraffes…”
Turns out giraffes were his twin brother’s favorite animal, and he’d died like a year earlier. People had been giving them to him ever since as a memorial gift of sorts. I felt SOOOOO bad.
Moral of the story: don’t judge an odd collection until you hear the story behind it I guess.
He def had a decorating vision! for the rest of us, it’s a nightmare.
Mercy Girl! Baaad Feng Shui! He either just got a call from Santa telling him he’s on the short list for Elf Queen On Ice (again!) this year, or the pyramid energy is pulling him and that giraffe right up through the skylight. Either way explains the grimace. Happy Holidays, Honey!
All I can think is,
“Bam! Bam-Bam!”
“Bam! Bam-Bam!”
Perhaps a Flintstones character at a bad Halloween party.
Jun-
gle
Jeze-
bel!
Jungle Jezebel!
Oooh!
Love that Divine action.
And what an appropriate song, huh?
Rick,
Props for the ‘Jungle Jezebel’ comment. May Divine Rest in Peace… If you hadn’t made it, I would have. (my fault for reading all the other submissions before placing my own. You stole my line!!!)
“now as we enter this part of the Pharoah’s exhibit, you will see to your left how the Pharoah’s lived once they were entombed in the Pyramids. As undead, they spend the rest of their time here on Earth in relative comfort, before they are allowed to pass on to the next world. This figure, we call him Bruce, is in the final stages of life. As you can see his clothing is beginning to rot off his body, his pet camel, Bandit, finally passed on but he was able to prop him up with the plants, and his bed is resplendent with the animal furs he was given for comfort in the next realm, and the Butterfly is his animal representative, which represents metamorphosis. The bottles in the background contain all his vital organs which are also guarded by two more, smaller, giraffes. Soap carvings he made of Bandit when he was first entombed…
And we’re walking…”
“…Faith Hill blairing over the faulty speaker system…?” Maybe it’s a witchy new verb I hadn’t heard before, just in time for Halloween, having to do with actresses who can spin their heads–or their speaker systems–around and around. Or maybe something about ‘The Blair Witch Project,” which I couldn’t see because I don’t do hand held (well, not with cameras at least). Do you think our critic maybe meant the more ordinary “blaring”?
Hmm…
Well, it’s probably a typo, but I can’t fault our critic. I mean, wouldn’t your fingers get a little “fercockt” after seeing this?
I love the thought that it might have been a play on words and such.
We may never know…..
Oh, thanks. Yeah, nothing kills a joke like a typo. Fixed that too late.
I will give him credit for having a place that is clean, neat and color-coordinated.
All I hear when I see this picture is, “HELL-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
Oh dear.
The pic is of my friend Brian.
He still hasn’t gotten over the disappointment of not getting the role of Gilligan in the ’60s.
Honey, let it go. It’s been too long already.