Richard: And here we have Chi Chi’s private living room, designed by Miss LaRue herself. Oh, and what luck! Here we have an actual hustler, ladies and gentlemen, probably plucked from the very sidewalks of Santa Monica Boulevard! Take your photos quickly, my dears — tomorrow he’ll be charging $300 an hour for it!
David: I’m a sucker for composition. And it’s fabulous how the model looms out from the center of the image, claiming his domain. It’s an effect that’s amplified by the crazy lines of the wainscoting zig-zagging through the blazing orange room — “Yeah, baby!” Everything here screams ‘A’ for effort. Still, I’m filing this under: Celine Dion’s Venetian (Tangerine) Daydream.
Heather: Real Men Decorate With Naugahyde. Ooh, and that paint! Must be from the new Campbell’s Soup Collection.
John:The more I look at this photo the more fake it becomes. Is this the hocus pocus of Dr. Photoshop? Can he really be looming so enormously in the foreground? Of course, there is a whole genre of amateur porn photos — I call them the Colossus of Rhodes photos — shot from the floor where the head seems to brush the ceiling. Still…
So anyway, here we have yet another Colossus of Rhodes on the loose. This one rampaging through the pages of Architectural Digest. Correction, through the home of someone who reads entirely too many Architectural Digests. You know how there is such a thing as Fashion Victims? There is such a thing as Architectural Digest Victims.
File Under:Calvacade of Calamities | Living Room Wreckage
6 Responses to 'Celine Dion’s Venetian (Tangerine) Daydream'
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David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
Shawn Baker is the Executive-Editor of Nightcharm and hails from New York. He is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Heather Corinna is the undisputed diva of online erotica for chicks. She publishes Scarleteen.com and is a sex guru to thousands of teenagers.
Sean Horlor is happy to no longer be using his judgmental prowess for the forces of darkness. He co-hosts a comedy lifestyle reality TV series called Don't Quit Your Gay Job and runs Up Your Alley.
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At first when I saw this photo I thought thought that it looked as though someone had forcefed a rhino some festive pot pouree which had promptly thrown it up across the living room. However, upon closer inspection, the man with the painted on hair, has actually been superimposed upon this backdrop. But if you were to go to the trouble to photoshop yourself onto a living room, why choose one that looks like the product of Satan’s cholera outbreak.
The use of perspective in this vignette reminds one of Caravaggio or possibly van Eyck–The model being elevated somewhat above the viewer’s natural horizon line, the model’s gaze directly regarding the viewer, his dick seeming to jut right out of the picture plane, while the perspective of the room recedes dramatically away in the opposite direction.
Actually, I had wondered if this wasn’t the product of Photoshop, since the lighting and scale of the model don’t quite seem to mesh with those of the background. But our model seems to be casting a shadow. So either he’s used a flash that has created a shadow on the wall and ceiling behind him, or he’s actually posed in front of a backdrop of an ugly living room for the photo–and I’m not even sure if that would be any stranger than just Photoshopping one’s self into such a dire setting.
That head didn’t belong on that body, now did it?
I must confess, I breezed past the photo. Initially. The room was unremarkable. Bad, yes, but not remarkably bad. The same seemed true of our model. It was only after reading the esteemed columnists review of the work and those of our commentators at home that I felt compelled to give it a second look.
Clearly, this photo has been cobbled together from several sources. Bad, but not remarkably bad room. Bad, but not remarkably bad body. Bad, but not remarkably bad face. Layer upon layer of “unremarkable”.
What I began to think was, “Surely something unexpectedly awful, or beautiful, or terrifying must have accidentally been included if one takes into account the sheer volume of material that has been included here!” But no. It’s all just slightly substandard.
My conclusion: We have an artist at work here. Here is somebody who is trying to tell us something; somebody who has something to say! But what?!? Dear Lord in heavan, what is he telling us?!?
He remembered to take the Vi@gra. But sadly, he forgot the Prozac.
Hmmm, this is actually a photo of me, and is entirely real. I apologise for the interior, my boyfriend had an interior design complex at the time. The photo was taken in the late 90’s when color was in in a big way. (Have other photos as proof should you be interested
Wonder how it came to your attention though…..