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Shawn: Nothing quite says “No restraining order can ever keep us apart” like gun fetishism, violent homoeroticism, and a personal arsenal.
The camo netting and drawn venetian blinds — I’m thinking that’s got to be a porn cache on the window sill — create that feel of a claustrophobic, hermetically-sealed personal universe about to burst forth into the world. With the refrigerator in the bedroom, I’m wondering if this might be a single room occupancy, one of those places where socially marginalized men do the “You talkin’ to me?” thing in front of the mirror and that are destined to be surrounded by crime scene tape.
It’s his blandly attractive Midwestern looks combined with the tightly-wound thousand yard stare that caps it all off with a very Targets-style ambience, and that was a good time had by all.
ericthewriter: This is what happens when you buy on sale at Bed Baghdad & Beyond.
David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
Shawn Baker is the Executive-Editor of Nightcharm and hails from New York. He is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Heather Corinna is the undisputed diva of online erotica for chicks. She publishes Scarleteen.com and is a sex guru to thousands of teenagers.
Sean Horlor is happy to no longer be using his judgmental prowess for the forces of darkness. He co-hosts a comedy lifestyle reality TV series called Don't Quit Your Gay Job and runs Up Your Alley.
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I think there’s a body…or part of one…under the covers.
I will think of something brilliant to say later, when I stop shuddering.
Okay, I know that the whole knife-next-to-the-dick thing is supposed to imply “Look how big it is,” but it totally reads “DIY circumcision.”
Does anyone else have a strange urge to re-watch the first season of Nip/Tuck?
Jeez. Yet another dude in his folks’ basement. Christ, are they no self-supporting young men left?!
Not in this economy.
BUNKER MAN
What kind of protection do you prefer – trojans? His response: bulletproof! The man hates painting the walls opting for netting. Interesting that he has no shelves except the countertop hosting his porn collection. The lighting all comes from the camera and can only imagine that after the flash – it’s all dim.
Hi credit to the belly button which fascinates me.
i’m guessing the picture was taken before he put on the fishnet stockings and red pageboy wig.
i’d still fuck him. i’ve had crazier. *shrug*
As I am speaking softly and calmly, while trying to very carefully extricate myself from the Jeff Stryker meets Jeffrey Dahmer room, one thing I know: under NO circumstance should I ever open that refrigerator and see what is inside. It might be the last thing I do in this life.
PS: What is up with that atrocious ceiling light? Did he steal it from an operating room?
The guns may be on the bed, but I still think he’s packing some major heat….
I can hear his neighbors now: “He seemed like such an honest, wholesome boy….”
The light fixture is interesting; I wonder where he got it from. It appears to be lighting something off to the side, maybe a self-portrait in a sheriff’s hat and gunbelt?
His quest for a textured wall covering achieved a certain success. It’s easily taken down for cleaning, and it matches his fetish aesthetic.
I mean, let’s face it, the room may be a turnoff but it does blend well with his li’l role-playing identity there. Nudist SWAT? CSI West Hollywood?
The biggest problem is the refrigerator, which seems either appropriate for a one-room place…or fearfully necessary, containing things we’d rather not think about. And I’m wishing my mind hadn’t gone there. Now I’ll have nightmares.
DuPont presents Tales from the Icebox
Tonight’s Episode: The Kevlar Diaries: Death Takes a Honeymoon
I suppose our Commando here was tired of seeing other young Marines posing for pics in their barracks rooms, while holding their weapons. He took it one step further.
Simply put, the first thing that came to my mind after seeing this pic was, “We would NOT be fucking at HIS place!”
What are the odds he meets his dates on Craigslist?
That ceiling light really ruins the ambiance of the entire room. A few side lamps casting a far less direct style of light would really help the overall decor, bringing out interesting jungle shadow patterns on the walls.
The fridge is simply wrong, unless he can cover it in a suitable form of camo.
We’ll be able to redecorate the entire room while he’s in custody.
if we put little twinkly lights in the netting and move it to the wall behind the bed, paint the fridge to match the walls & change the blinds, use fashion camo remnants from the fabric store…
Bravo. This room is an example of practicality and restraint … I mean in decorating of course. He could have easily overdone the military theme by bringing in a camouflage duvet cover and a few POW flags, but our soldier knows when to say when. Instead he takes advantage of the beige walls to create a Dessert Storm environment on a minimal budget. The costuming is quality battle drag, all in a simple and matching black, but not to such excess as to hide completely his best assets: a handsome face and fit physique. (Note the way the knife doesn’t hide the family jewels but puts them in a class of weaponry.)
The ceiling is unfortunate but at the same time generic enough for guests to imagine they are anywhere. I’m going to assume the high-power lamp is for cleaning and taking photographs, and that the atmosphere is better set when guests are there. I base this assumption on his other big consideration: the refrigerator. The fridge says to me not “single room living,” but “roommates.” Nothing can kill a theme-fuck quicker than having to go out in the hall wearing battle gear and grease and confronting the decidedly un-militant tastes (and possibly the person) of the Madonna fan Banker you live with. Our soldier knows the importance of keeping his tricks and himself hydrated. There are also lots of snacks should they be held up “at the front line” for a long period of time. The bedpan is tastefully tucked under the bed, and there will be poppers in that freezer, as well as ice cubes for tall drinks in plastic cups.
What I can’t know, and most what to, is what is on those notes and/or drawings kept with magnets on the fridge door? Letters from “back home”?
This interior nightmare says, “I have an incredibly horrid bug problem.” From the look of the camo mosquito netting lining the walls I would say these bugs are HUGE. Get out while you are still alive! SAVE YOURSELF! RUN! RUN!! RUN!!!
But before you do, I think you forgot the uniform that goes under the attack gear.
Other than that he’s kinda hot which I guess makes me kinda pervy.
rear_window seems to have a lot of knowledge of this style. Role play? He seems to be basically right-on about the style. Maybe our host took some style hints from M.A.S.H. For his purposes, the room is correct. Not detailed, but suggestive. I wonder if there is a stereo playing sounds of far off explosions and military equipment.
The strong light above the bed makes me wonder what he does to his vic…uh…overnight guests that makes him want to watch every detail of their facial expressions. He makes no vocalizations as he slides his weapons dangerously close to their nipples…imagining a spot of blood where his patiently honed blade bites their warm flesh. I can see him flexing his soft muscles in the mirror, imagining them as much larger, harder muscles, sweaty from the heat of his tented retreat. Untrained, he lives a fantasy of brutal tactics. Waterboarding with ice cold water from the fridge. At long last, his guest is punished (rewarded?) with the reamer. (Does he ever blink? They say to themselves.)
This gentleman knows how to provide his paramours with an exciting recreation of army bunkers in Iraq. And after sex, he can quickly open the fridge and open a Red Bull.
Oh “Targets” with Boris Karloff! I get the reference!
I am afraid of that refrigerator.
I think we all are.
Wow, that’s the guy I was dating off craigslist….
The camo netting isn’t so bad in and of itself and, in the hands of a true Queen with a creative eye, might have been made into something really special. What unnerves me about the way this particular luna… er … gentleman uses it is that he’s draped it OVER existing wall art and shelving. It’s as though he’s taken over someone else’s apartment and has set up camp there. (And something about the windows gives me the sneaking suspicion that we’re looking at a basement apartment.) That along with the disturbingly clinical light fixture, the unavoidable preponderance of Kevlar and the fact that he’s so blithely willing to hold the business end of a Bowie knife right up against his… business all beg the already asked questions: What IS in that refrigerator? What DOES lurk under that lumpy duvet? Why ARE those blinds so tightly drawn?
Only one thing is certain. Anyone dumb enough to see this photograph as an invitation rather than a warning got what they deserved.
The Most Proper attire looks best with a good foundation. His choice in foundation garments, I find Bullet-Proof. Literally.
Am I the only one who sees more than a passing resemblance to Shawn, our intrepid New York design expert??
Like twins separated at birth, one was carted off to the big city and became a fabulous queen, while the other landed in the rust belt and is preparing for Armaggedon and Socialism because his Fundie church and the Republicans told him to.
I will credit him that his outfit matches his surroundings. It would be more strange if he was dressed like that in a Jonathan Adler/ Hollywood Regency/ Viceroy Hotel inspired bedroom. Or if he was wearing a Brooks Brothers suit in that barracks/ dungeon. I’m buying that this is a real unstaged peak into this guy’s life. I’m also wondering what’s written on those pieces of paper magnetically attached to his fridge? Could he have written over and over “Do NOT forget to wear pants in public.”
One final observation. I do appreciate the controlled color palette of the over all photo: white, cream, tan, dark brown, and black is very Pottery Barn. I’d rather get this guy’s monthly catalog than PBs.
I wonder if there’s a life-sized poster of Jeff Gannon on one of the unseen walls….
While Mommy and Daddy sleeps, one of NY’s finest strips the blue and dons only the parts that truly makes him a man… Rondo, just out of police academy shows the world that he has it…
or not
I’d still fuck him – but we are talking “a little scary shit happening here”
this is what happens when you you buy on sale at Bed Baghdad & Beyond.
Eric, if that doesn’t make the Editors’ Choice for this submission, I’ll be damned surprised.
Just hilarious!
No one in their right mind (unless something was slipped in their drink) would want to be in bed, in the dark with this guy. Sex and knifes? Uh no thanks, I’ll be staying in this weekend.
you make me blush, jeff.
*crosses tom off list for naked infidels & insurgents party*
Two immediate thoughts;
You can just tell this guy had a GREAT sense of humor!
“Zips up the back and no bones!” (Line from the 1939 version of “The Women”)
It it my guess that this child had never seen that movie, and hasn’t seen his sense of humor in a very, very long time.
Wait…I’m dying (bad choice of words?) to know what his taste in porn is………. I’m gonna jump on Photoshop a for minute…… I’ll get back you about about our friend , “G.I. No.”
Nah. I knew the original pic wasn’t clear enough but I gave it a shot…
He does appear to actually be freckled a bit and has a cute ,little bunny trail if hair from belly-button to dick, mostly hidden by the belt from the scary vest.
The VHS in the back isn’t porn, I don’t think. You can tell by the box size and the box title art on the spine.
Lemme guess: “Good Morning Vietnam,” “Apocalypse Now” every Rambo and Terminator movie ever made, and I’m guessing the more colorful boxes are lighter fare.
What do ya think………The Wiggles maybe? Nora the Explorer? Heathers?
Willing to bet on two things: 1. He used to be an altar boy. and 2. He is a security guard at the local mall, where he stole the netting from the “support our troops” window at Macy’s last Fourth of July.
This Is one time Im In favor of dont ask,dont tell.
Grampa, shoot up at the Holocaust Museum, or the little dick gets it.
He just wants you to know that even if he’s gay, he aint no bleeding heart liberal pussy. He’s a hunter, gun-owner, NRA member Log Cabin Republican who eats venison steak for dinner and lunch. Not a lot of sex lately, but his live nonetheless took a wonderful turn for the better ever since Florida passed the Make My Day law – come on in buddy, just try to make a move. Lets see what you got.
“I’m HERE….you’re here……we’re here…..
The fridge thing is a little too Jeffery Dahmer-esque for me….
Et bien là peu importe la déco moi je dis oui à 100% c’est quand et ou il veut
I like it. I am sure it would start with a long cold stare….with “please love me” just under the surface…I’d have to let him know I understand he’s “dangerous”, he’d have a long opening speech, then throw me on the bed with my arm pulled tightly behind my back…he’d growl a threat into my ear, something like, “I could put you in a choke hold and kill you in 17 seconds”, (yes, someone once whispered that into my ear before love making)…after a little angry wrestling, and a display of some basic training death moves, he’d throw his beefy ass in the air and say, almost in a whisper, “Please fuck me.”