David: I thought they’d dismantled the set to television’s Gunsmoke way back in 1975, right after the show was canceled. But how wrong I was. Here a devoted fan has broken into the very section of the set that was Amanda Blake’s (the show’s red-haired saloon proprietress Miss Kitty) entertainin’ parlor. Amazingly, every horrifying remnant is intact, including Ms. Blake’s boombox which, eerily, plays the opening cut from N.W.A’s Straight Outta Compton (where Gunsmoke was filmed, believe it or not) whenever a passerby comes within two feet of the R2D2-like unit. Astounding!
Richard: Just for the record, I like blind people. I even used to fantasize about being blind when I was a kid. (I know: fucking Ice Castles.) Anyway, I think blind people are awesome, and they deserve every right to speak as they want and think as they want and, I dunno, eat as they want or whatever, but for the love of the Americans With Disabilities Act of 1990, they cannot be decorators. (They cannot drive either, or operate heavy machinery, or compete in mumbletypeg tournaments. That’s not me talking; that’s the gubmint.) I mean, see what poor Billy has done? He’s managed pretty well with the wood — but then, that’s a textural thing. He’s also done a good job on maintaining a consistent pink, which for a while made me question whether he’s Helen Keller-blind or just mom-the-morning-after-Champagne-Night-at-the-Parisian-Room-blind. But then I saw that Burmese many-mouthed water bong sitting right in the middle of the Mission-style coffee table, and I knew that Billy is really, truly blind, not Levar-Burton-with-a-banana-clip-blind, because THAT IS FUCKING MADNESS.
File Under:Living Room Wreckage
45 Responses to 'The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black Amanda Blake'
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David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
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“Naughty Pine”…..nuff said!
Methinks this is probably his parents’ weekend cottage in which case, bonus points for actually having things that match. Not that I’d notice anything in the room at all from my face down position on the couch.
My mother has lots of that same chunky Murano glass scattered around their Danish Modern house of beige.
VERY nice window treatment! I like how the pink ruffles theme is carried over by the ceiling fan fixtures and lampshade. Also, the nicest “Tchotchke or Accessory” is right in the middle of the room. Yum!
Have you ever tried to clean jizz off a red velvet sofa?
I bet there’s hard candy in one of those bowls. And lordy… that’s a LOW ceiling or a TALL drink of man.
What to do with an in-home sauna which is too costly to run in these hard economic times? With a couple of glass objets d’art and some frilly curtains and, yes, a frilly ceiling fan, it can become an intimate den for hosting your next Bob Ross painting class.
I don’t know about anyone else but I cannot stop staring at those shoulder muscles and the rest of him. After I cleaned the drool from my chin I saw that lamp. It looks like he got naughty in his Great Aunt Mill’s entertainment room.
damn you, stinky, for getting to ‘naughty pine’ before i did, and damn you jeffy for getting to the scotch-gard comment before i did.
if you move the coffeetable out of the way and close your eyes (which is what i would do just before i climbed that manchild like a tree), the room is quite lovely.
“A picture of me was published in US Camera. It was called “Textures” because you could see three different textures: the hideous knotty pine, the whorehouse red velveteen and me. I got paid twenty-five dollars an hour and it took hours and hours; you’d be surprised! The first day the sun wasn’t right and I got paid for that, too!”
Lucy and Ricky’s Westport rec-room meets early Disney Princess Carriage.
All we need is Mr. Rogers peeping in the window saying, “Howdy, Neighbor!”
Everything about the decor is wrong, but fuck it I just don’t care, he’s so right.
I wonder what PTown house this was located in! The abalone ashtrays are to DIE for!
wow, 13 comments in and no one has remarked yet on manchild’s perfect shave.
i don’t think this is PTown. no washable slipcovers, no ironic accessories and no lube dispenser.
He must’ve set the camera on the “nostalgic” replica player piano to get this shot.
Still, ruffly curtains or not, I’d do him.
There’s a room in this picture?
I like the room. It has character, style, comfort. I’d change just one thing. I’d make that sofa a bed. And then…..
Eric…..
I agree that this isn’t P-Town. Truro, maybe.
That “perfect shave” you mentioned: SO necessary to avoid him having more crabs than The Lobster Pot.
Grandma probably let him use the place for Spring Break. The boom box is definitely his, brought along because a Victrola just won’t play the jams.
There’s probably a Pepperidge Farm cranberry cake in the icebox. (And I do mean “icebox”).
The tin motorcycle replica atop the built-in display hutch is a daring, rugged and manly touch…
Wow, the red…Amsterdam is looking for it’s furniture. But aside from that in response to Jeff, I believe that would be one very tall drink of a man, or man-child. I don’t think this boy is done growing yet. That or this room and furnishings have all been miniaturized for a small person. Everything is in proportion to the rest of the room. The remotes on the table next to what looks like a “He-Man” DVD. The drink glasses are proportional to the remotes and other items on the table. The furniture to the height of the window etc. The ONLY thing out of proportion is the subject in the middle. But what proportions he has. It looks as if his shaven penis could fill the glass on the table to the left and it isn’t even hard yet…oh dear! He almost precisely matches the rest of the room and brings the focal point of all the colors in the room to himself. The pink shading of the head of his penis matches that of the curtains and the lamp in the window, his nipples bring out the subtle browns of the knotty pine. His pale skin pulls the white lamp shade from the corner away from the darkness. With him in the room, it is almost a masterpiece.
Dallas…..
Bitch, please.
(just kidding)
What’s with the sad little plant on the wall in its original plastic pot? What? They thought hanging a more ornate vessel might be too much? Ooooow child. The “Too Much Train” left the station the minute Mom and DAD spotted that ceiling fan at Walmart. (Que Happy Face to hang himself right about now…)
How many bets do I get that every time his folks drive off for more batteries for the remote and paint-by-numbers still life sets for the walls (Brings out Mom’s creative streak. She dreams of Paris one day. Paris, Texas), this Tom Cruise wanna-be, rather than shorts and sox, hikes the lamp shade around his waist, wraps the pink shade over THAT and reenacts Gone With The Wind, Scarlett’s part (of course) word by word…
But only the pretty, frilly scenes…
Why Melanie Wilks! I just LOVE that dress! Why I just can’t take my eyes off it!
Isn’t this better than sitting at a table? Why, a girl has but only two sides to her at a table.
Frankly Scarlett, nice dick.
so much for not showing his uh bosom a’fo 3 o’clock.
In this low budget gay porn adaptation of Risky Business, called, of course, “Frisky Business”, instead of his parents Connecticut mansion, Joel finds himself home alone in grandma’s cabin in the Tennessee foothills……….Hope Grammy doesn’t notice that crack in her prized blue Fenton art glass.
i seem to recall ’sticky business.’ and it was, eventually.
Eric,
NOW I know why you seem so familiar. Sticky Business! We were “stunt doubles” on that set.
(giggles)
what a rich inner life you have.
Don’t be saucy with me, Bernaise…….
Oh, Piss boy!
with all the freetime y’all have to sit around quipping & quoting, someone should volunteer to whitewash manchild’s planking. and paint the walls too.
Why Captain eric, how you talk!
Besides, why bite the trash that feeds you material?
#1: You are divinely inspired Kitten, but this room need a lot more than a paint job. And your Dash actually enjoys interior painting. Let’s start with a can of gasoline and some paid up home insurance.
#2: If this WAS all prettied up, what would any of us quip & quote about?
#3: I don’t know nuthin about the whitewashin’ planking but if his butt-hole needs bleaching I’ll be right over.
(Readers mutter to themselves ” It ain’t fittin’. It ain’t fittin’. It just ain’t fittin’.)
Cloying…that’s the best word for the decor. The naughty pine is almost overwhelming, but mixed with the faux-victoriana/faux-bordello furniture and drapes, and art-glass accents, it’s too much. It’s too grandmotherly/maiden-auntie. A room like this calls for brown leather or nubbly wool or the like. And the ceiling is too low; Mr. Tall Drink’s shades could indicate eye injuries inflicted by the ceiling fan. As for the man…I’ll have to be the odd man out; shaved pubes are a deal-killer for me, but even if he had them, I’d still not be interested; too thin and too young-looking.
i DO know about whitewashing. all of the interiors walls of the garden level chez moi are tongue & groove circa 1958. they’re not knotty pine, though, they’re oak. dark oak. dark dark oak, installed by someone with a great deal of carpentry skill and painted by someone with no taste whatsoever. the living room is pistacchio green, the main bedroom is wedgwood blue and the bathroom is grey white and silver spongepaint on black.
all of these are slowly but surely going varying shades of suntan because i am a gay man who knows the value of reflected light.
if i were in the romo with manchild, however, i’d just turn off the lights. then i’d bind his hands with that trailing vine, put down an antimacassar to catch any drips……
I know a guy who is a friend and lives next door to the Jose Feliciano estate in Wilton, CT. Whenever Jose gets to be a little too much of a ‘wise Latino,’ my friend promises to wait until he goes away for a few days while he rearranges the furniture.
This sexy blind guy was smart — he got heavy shit that NOBODY could move without a groin injury. And he doesn’t even have to look at the naughty pine, the ’shawnda-lier,’ as we used to say in San Antonio, and the ruffly curtains that look like my mother’s apron in preparation for the State Fair bake-off. He’s the smartest one of all.
Chuck….
Connecticut is full of celebrity…….shall we say…..hovels?
I lived there for 11 years. Oh, goodness. Liza Minnelli had a “mini farm” in Newtown, CT . I got to see it once. It must have been decorated by the same people who did Eric’s abode.
Think……Dark Shadows meets The Sandpiper……over a triple martini.
Oops!
My bad. I got my references mixed up.
I meant, “Dark Shadows vs The Sterile Cuckoo”.
The Sandpipers sang the title song to that movie.
Mea culpa…….
your culpa runneth over, jeffy. you might wanna try sitting on a towel.
Granny left her bastard grandson home alone to do what ever he wanted to do – he wanted to show that he was a well rounded man even though he doesn’t know his father and hasn’t seen his crack whore mother since he was two months old. Living in a knotty pine single wide in Pomona CA – (granny’s does love her some Miss Kitty – hence the name of her Maltese Amanda) still Osgood shows us that he is a man – and honey what a man he is, He could do what ever it is he wanted and place that virgin pole all over me. He was in a retro 80’s kind of mood when he snapped this for his 57 year old daddy man down the lane that is going to show him the ropes of Blind slave boy meets mean daddy. Sorry I digressed, I know this is true because of the motor cycle that he made when he was ten proudly displayed on the what knot shelf in the corner, granny (Pauline) was so proud of that little bastard boy that she put it there and there it remained all these years. Don’t be too hard on the old gal she did one hell of a job on raising this fine specimen of a man…
M B, that brought tears to my eyes. Poor old granny worked hard at the make-up counter all those years to give the boy an education. And you, kind soul, want to help give him a more rounded education. (Patting tears from my eyes.) His circus freak father never helped. That’s what drove his crack mom to drugs to begin with….once you’ve had freak, you’ll never go back.
Granny’s home shows love all around. And her flaming red hair (yes, still has it at 66 years old) looks good against the wooden walled background. At least, that’s what her gentlemen callers say. “It’s the people that brighten the room,” she always says.
I like the way the vine plant softens the edges on the left of the image and the way the window treatment does the same on the right.
Everything can’t be neutral. Hurray for color. I’d add a lighter pink swivel rocker as an accent. Wait until granny has her cataract surgery next week. Won’t she be surprised how all this looks.
What no one realizes is that grandma “moved on” some time ago. He just hasn’t had the heart to change the one room she spent so much time in. What this amazing man-pole doesn’t realize is that grandma is still there in spirit, appearing as a bright and solit white orb above his left perfectly formed shoulder. Grandma always did love debauchery.
I’d still do him.
Nice shades. Umm, yeah….that’s all…..
Is it just me, or does this look like the cabin out in the woods where they think bob hides out and kills Laura Palmer in Twin Peaks? It has something to do with the combo of pine and red velvet. I hear sometimes his arms bend backwards.
GLASS!!! COLORED GLASS THINGIES ON A TABLE!!!
THIS IS WRONG!!!
It’s time to polish his pine stiff.