Richard: Ignore, if you can, the brass festoonery, the faux-rose-and-ivy diorama, and the chutzpah-fueled-but-still-sad DIY valence: they’re clumsy distractions from the room’s overarching theme. As I see it, either (1) our new friend uses that safari hat on actual safaris, which has led to the illegal murder of leopards, cheetahs, and other diva-friendly cats; (2) our new friend is a cosplay novice, and he’s slowly working his way up to a Tigger the Tiger suit; or (3) someone’s gonna look an awful lot like Jocelyn Wildenstein in ten years’ time. Judging from that framed photo of our friend in drag, you can guess where I’m laying my bets.
SUAVE: GrrrrrowL, baby!! Nothing says “it’s a brand new morning!” like a sunrise shining through the dried, tanned pelt of flesh ripped from the body of an endangered mammal. And that animal hide comforter gives new meaning to “slay bed”. MeeeYow! But most of all, I love the framed homage to great felines adorning his room. No doubt the adjoining walls featuring equally elabourate portraits of Eartha Kitt, Simba and Tony the Tiger would evoke a singular response in all of us: They’re GRRRRRREAT!
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He’s done an accent wall! We so rarely see those here. And it’s in mauve! Lions and tigers and mauve – Oh My!
Ordinarily I’d assume that the ridiculously long, dangling chain hanging directly above the bed controls a ceiling fan but since he already has an oscillating fan right next to the bed I’m not sure what to think. Unless, of course, things have a tendency to get very hot very quickly in this room (as the jungle theme would suggest) in which case he might want to think about springing for an a/c unit rather than run the risk of accidentally strangling some hapless conquest in the heat of passion. Or he could just shorten that chain. Whichever.
And speaking of fans – I’m a BIG fan of sleigh beds and the one we see here is no exception but in this setting I feel as though it should be spelled s-l-a-y.
The Jungle Bloke?
Where the Wild Things Aren’t?
Mild Kingdom?
Gunga Don’t?
I can understand the Jungle Theme. But since when does Blue color spectrum go with all that mess?
I’d rather see Coppertone, Browns, Warm Reds, Oranges. But Mauve? Staight to Gay Hell you go! Gay hell smells like Wilson house of Leather and Hometown Buffet, you know.
That chain is truly puzzling. Do they make a Murphy Sleigh Bed??? Also, how many tantric sexual positions can you maneuver into in such a small, overfurnished room? I’m assuming that’s why he and his partner need the five (count them five) standard pillows I see on the side there in addition to the ones already on the bed.
What’s up with the I’m a Big Boy/Aww Shucks pose?
I have a ceiling fan over my bed but I didn’t get the decorating memo about the chain being long enough to reach the bed.
About that drag picture, can he use his nipple piercings to hold his falsies in place when he does the stripper show? Inquiring minds need to know.
Once upon a time, Guy of Guy’s Big Bite had a brother, Gus. Gus had a horrible sense of decoration. Guy disowned Gus. Gus lives in denial, de faux leopard prints, and de false assumption that de leopards and de tigers can cohabitate. De end.
Are those PLASTIC flowers in the vase? Tacky. I have so many question. What’s up with all the leopard print yet there are tigers on the wall? So which Big Cat are you, and do you have a Big Cat drag queen name? Are you on Craigslist?
It’s bad enough this looks like my 77 year old mother’s bedroom (yes it’s leopard print EVERYWHERE for her), but Jimbo hit on the real mystery of this room. The ceiling fan chain. Or is it the pull down for the stairs to the attic? Or perhaps a bucket of pig blood ala Carrie in case some rival drag queen dares to lie down on the bed? I’d love to see the living room!
Our designer has been trying to cram too much into small spaces lately.
It never works. Not even with the right colors as seen here. Accessories are ill chosen as well. And if we were going to bleach out the color, we’d have headed for the textiles. We can almost assume that the carpet does not match the drapes…if, indeed, the carpet still remains. However, we must agree that the resident and the room seem to be well matched.
All in all, even though it has an unfortunate colour scheme, he has achieved a coherent design theme here. And at night he dreams of Siegfried and Roy
Note: I went the entire post without any pussy jokes.
that might be alicia bridges in the picture. in which case the rest of the room makes sense.
Huh. I wonder if that light pull was once an extra extra looooong set of anal beads at one time.
And is that some kind of mini-sarcophagus on the dresser? So lions, leopards, & mini-pharaohs come to this room to stare into the periwinkle wall & die?
So this is what happens when Sigfried and Roy have to downscale. I guess the healthcare payments got to be too much now that they are out of work and don’t have reliable health insurance anymore. They even had to skin the rest of the animals from their act to provide them with a place to sleep. So sad. And Sigfried has put on a few pounds, sorry to say. Let’s hope Obama’s goverment health care option goes thru so that this couple does not have to bear the horrible burden of giving up their fake tans.
“…our new friend uses that safari hat on actual safaris, which has led to the illegal murder of leopards, cheetahs, and other diva-friendly cats.”
Looks more likely that the illegal murders of Cheeto’s, not cheetahs.
Although I cannot abide with animal prints at all, I’d still fuck him if he approached me in a bar.
Too….much….animal….print…..Must….run….screaming….into….the….night!
Viewers, if we stay very quiet we’ll have the rare opportunity to see tacky framed leopard prints stalk and kill food for their young. Wait! They’ve spotted some equally tacky figurines on the adjacent wall. Probably some sappy-assed swallows, or something. What they are makes no-never-mind: they’re toast. One less thing to dust, I say……. The big cats stand motionless, staring at their prey, waiting for the right moment to pounce.
Watch their raw power as they kill the birds without knocking over the vase, yet skillfully giving the drag queen a dollar and a peck on the cheek as they pass.
P.S.: What? No leopard print oscillating fan? Hasn’t she heard of HSN or Craig’s List? I JUST gave 3 to Goodwill. If I had only known.
Is he pulling his pants UP, or is his belly pushing them down?
I sense a furry. is he posting this to find a yiffing partner?
This quite eloquently demonstrates the line between “fond of big-cat themed manchester” and “cry for help”. I hope the ASPCA are monitoring jungle boy’s trips to local zoos very, very closely…
I always wondered what Guy Guy Fieri’s bedroom looked like. There is a difference between following a theme and beating it over the head with a 2 by 4. This would be the latter.
Going to leave the sad hair bleaching alone. The room is bad enough.
funny story… i know this guy!