Sean:There comes a time in every young lady’s life when she decides to combine her passion for interior design with her lifelong interest in artificial flowers, thereby creating a Little Floral Shop of Horrors right in her very own home! I have it on good authority that the water lilies by the door feed on human blood and that the villainous vines overtaking the room will doo-wop your cares away with the kind of sultry vocal stylings that would put finest celebrity Broadway ensemble to shame. Now. I like plants and flowers as much as the next gay. The fake peonies and forsythia are the boldest of bold wall bouquets that I’ve ever seen, and installing plastic planters on a feature wall six feet up from the floor? Shit girl! That’s the kind of genius that most would rightly confuse with bat-shit crazy. Still, despite all these pros, for some reason I find myself wishing this young lady’s shop was a little more Lady Gaga and a little less Lady of Shallot.

A final word of advice: do not stare to long at the shrunken devil head on the wall. It will steal your soul.

File Under:Living Room Wreckage

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David: I’ve never understood why people continue to live with Christmas decorations and gewgaws on display throughout their home (and bathroom?), past, say, January 7. Isn’t the end of the first week in January supposed to represent the conclusion of Lent or the Advent or something like that — the day when the three wise men showed up with the incense? I dunno, I get confused.

Regardless, let’s just say, hypothetically, that this photo was shot in December. FAIL! There’s nothing more brain-scrambling than mixing holiday garland with ethnic arts and crafts. In Bali, where many of these items were purchased, it’s considered a foible worthy of punishment by tribal elders. So think twice people! And consider: If this is what this gentleman’s bathroom looked like during Christmas, we can only image how the rest of the home was decked out. Perhaps he’s neighbors with this fellow — where the garland just wouldn’t stop? Poor dears.

File Under:Bathroom Abominations

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Shawn: My penchant for woodsy interiors is a motif in my Digs forays. White walls are for mental institutions, rehab facilities, and apartments destined to be surrounded by crime scene tape. It’s the details here rather than the backdrop that falter, though. The leather mini sofa looks stranded and out-of-place, better suited for an office than this attic-ish setting, and the white fan comes off as blandly indistinct. The ladder looks to be wrought iron, so I’m wanting more of a satin black with brushed nickel model to gel with it. I’m loving the tiered layerdness of it all, but the floorbound paperwork, the big stack of pillows — somehow managing at once to be too haphazard yet curiously rigid — gives off a compulsive hoarder vibe.

File Under:Beyond Horrifying

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