Richard: Okay, okay: I call shenanigans. For maybe the first time in Lurid Digs history, I think we’ve been suckered into using a total fake. First of all, I refuse to believe that the Lava Lamp Corporation makes a nightstand of that size. The proportions are all wrong, and something about the base almost makes it look Photoshopped into the image. (Though as an avid ‘shopper myself, I can tell you: getting all that gradoux placed around the edges and the shadows in alignment would be a monumental task.) Second of all, I refuse to believe that a grown adult — much less two of them — would buy a Lava Lamp nightstand. Third of all, I refuse to believe those are two grown adults on the bed. They look like the same cub, doubly-exposed.
On the other hand, if this is real, dudes have some ‘splaining to do. Why haven’t they cleaned in seven and a half months? Don’t they own a duvet? How can a normal-sized human couple share a regular-sized double bed? Don’t we all have queens now? (Watch it.) And most importantly of all: WHY DO THEY NOT OWN RAILS FOR THAT LOVELY QUEEN ANNE BED? Ugh, that’s one of my pet peeves. Just go to goddamn Salvation Army and spend the $10. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIVES. Or life, as the case may be.
Side note: if anyone knows where to buy a Lava Lamp nightstand, let me know. Grown adults shouldn’t own them, but then, I ain’t done growing.
David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
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I know I’m supposed to comment on the decor of the room, but judging by the upper right corner, I don’t think they’ve finished moving in yet (?).
As to the occupants, when you’re that close to the penis you no longer need your glasses to see or enjoy it. As a fellow near-sighted person, I’m alright with starting the session off in your glasses, but when you progress this far (i.e. total nudity) the Glasses Come OFF!
On another note, if you’re being photographed by a third person it is always imperative when the person says, “Say cheese” for all the participants to suck in their gut. Come on, already.
p.s. Who puts a clock on top of a lamp??? Is this the new trend?
Sadly, the night stand is completely real…
http://www.glow.co.uk/acatalog/COLOSSAL-LAVA-LAMP-COFFEE-TABLE.html
But I agree that it’s probably one dude Photoshopped…
I’ve got a serious twins fantasy, but this ain’t it.
Awesome touch: porn peeking out from under the bed.
- Geisha sandals peeking coquettishly peeking out from under the bed
- camping lamp slipped behind the Lava Lamp endowed with an extra chromosone.
-ski masks hanging from the bedposts
Someone call the fuzz, I believe there may be the remains of hitchhikers walled up behind this luminious example of serial killer chic.
This is NOT what scientists had in mind when cloning humans became possible. Talk about narcissism! They even like the same soda! (7up?)
You’d think the owner of this lava lamp would have put his money to better use like proper furnishings instead of ‘blowing his load’ on a lava lamp which retails for nearly $1000. It’s the “Colossus” model. I don’t have the nerve to tell the forum over at Oozinggoo.com (a lava lamp collector site) about this pic, but I wish I could.
Is this one of those incestuous twin romances where the two of them hold up together in some bizarrely furnished flat, living in squalor, fucking non-stop and ordering take-out Chinese until one of them drops dead and the other one goes bonkers? Is it one of those deals? Because it sure looks like one of those deals. It would go a long way toward explaining the filth, the sloppily uncentered headboard and that LAMP!
WHAT is it with these dudes and lamps? The lava lamp/end table HAS to be a flea market-find; you can’t just walk into some store and BUY a monstrosity like that. (At least, I HOPE not.) It was undoubtedly a remnant from some trashy 80′s club and sat in the parking lot Sunday after Sunday getting steadily marked down until these two geniuses finally stumbled along. (That mirrored table top must have seen so much blow in its day… SO much blow…) Similarly, the petite, dime store reading lamp with the alarm clock finial… what the Hell is that all about?! You need to know what time it is? I’ll tell you what time it is. It’s time to hire a decorator. And a therapist. Or two.
Well, I’ll say this much for them, the laminate flooring is cluttered, but at least it’s clean. What can be seen of it, anyway.
Sidebar: Those sheets say “cat owner” to me. I don’t know why, they just do.
The tones in this room are all wrong, especially if they are going to expose their flesh in them. Those colours are all far too washed out. The deep brown of the bedstead could actually take a far more adventurous and stronger colour, perhaps the same shade as the lave in the lamp. This would liven the whole room up as well as unifying the palette.
Of course those two should both be preserved a la Damien Hirst, just to really turn this room into something memorable.
someone needs to have a yard sale, then take the proceeds and run not walk to ikea for a platform bed and a bongsjlafker, the sidetable shaped like a waterpipe.
Gives my glasses a good clean and peers again! YES they’re TWins!!!They even have the same black band on their right wrists and chances are they have the same tats as well. So sorry yet again I’m rivitted by the nakedness and all the deccor goes over my head but THEY’RE TWINS!!!!
I’m annoyed that a perfectly good head-board has been ripped off and used to decorate their cheap-and-nasty mattress ensemble. They can’t even be bothered lining them up!
Not only do the pillowcases not match the bottom sheet, they don’t even match each other. For shame!
[...] I have a new post up on Lurid Digs, which is ENTIRELY NSFW. In it, I debate the existence of god, twins, and ex-gays, but mostly Lava [...]
I have met someone who would completely own that lava lamp nightstand if it is in fact real.
Romulus, Remus
Ramen on the nightstand waits
Another late meal
If youre making out with a boy and he takes his glasses off you know it’s serious. These two must not be that into each other.
Are those touques hanging on the bedposts?
I think this is a little photo shop action going on here and if you looked like that you would probably have to do your brother…
I guess the room is not the only thing that sucks…
clean it up -
All I can say is I think these guys should have their Gay Card revoked.
Who in their right mind would buy…
1/ a Colossus Lava lamp,
2/ Have it customised into an end table,
3/ Mix it with cheap ass laminate flooring
and then
4/ add furniture from Walmart’s “Its looks like real wood” collection?????
Wow, I actually like the Lava Lamp table but it’s absolutely in the wrong apartment.
My biggest curiosity is WHY is there a Cuisinart under the lamp table!?
The Cuisinart is for those rare nights your dealer can’t drop off your daily allotment of pot. And in this case I do mean daily. After all, if you buy it by the week you’ve obviously got a problem. (And if you happen to have the world’s largest lava lamp you just may have a problem.) Where did these boy’s day-glo black-light posters go to? (In fact, where is ANY art or “art” in this room if we discount the lavalamp as a piece of sculpture?) In conclusion, on those nights you just might need something to get you through the night. And that, ladies, is how Margarita Monday was invented.
I have to say, the guy kneeling is really creeping me out with the way he’s holding on to the headboard. It’s like a cross between Gollum in the Rings trilogy and that freaky girl in “Rose Red” the way his right arm looks stunted.
Ahem. I actually work for Adobe. And, btw, thanks maybe for perpetuating the use of our trademarked product name into a verb (mixed feelings – that’s the company line, what else do you expect from me?). The table is real. My issue is in is using a queen sized headboard for a double mattress. Yikes! Wrong! Other than that, let the good times roll!
The reason the “two” of them look so alike is because there is only “one” of them … who happens to be schizophrenic. Hence, they are both consigned to having sex with their/his own self/selves as no one else would dare enter this bedroom.
As for the giant Lava lamp, I think they/he bought it from a marital aids catalouge.
it sounded silly when robert young used to say ‘sanka brand decaffeinated coffee.’
it sounded silly when the folks at xerox called making a copy ‘zeroing’ or ‘rocking.’
when your noun becomes a verb, take it as a compliment.
i’m not sure if there’s too much lavalamping or not enough everything elseing going on here. i suspect the latter.
The hell with the decor, this queen ‘shopped his fantasy (every fag’s dream) of doing himself. Still, not a very pretty picture.
Lava Lamps are room signals that the owner doesn’t know how to install dimmer switches. It’s a cry for help. Also, this owner is in desperate need for turtles to hold the loose chords.
I do admire the cloned nature of geeks having sex. How many porn videos have you seen when the athletic look was cloned by each of the actors! You just want to know the trend is spreading beyond the gym look.
This is not twin sex – it’s evidence of convergent evolution. Their love bond must be sci-fi!
Someone alert Al Roker!
If that lamp overheats and errupts we’ll have another Eyjafjallajokull on our hands!!!
The awesome twins are saving up to buy a second matching lava lamp bedside table. Then their wonderful life together will be complete. Their mom, who lives downstairs and has to listen to the constant banging of that headboard against the wall (continuing to delude herself that it’s “just a phase”), still dresses them identical but can tell them apart by their distinctive tattoos.
Wonder twin powers activate! Form of a Lava Lamp. Form of a cheap wood headboard.
I found it! The Lava lamp nightstand. http://www.lavalamp.com/product/accessory-table-colossus/
@Mr. E – wow that does look like a Cuisinart — but in black??? Could it be a top secret prototype? I would LOVE to have a Cuisinart in black but as we all know, their only colors are white and brushed stainless. Call the Cupertino police! Break down the doors!!! @Eric the writer – using a trademark as a verb IS a compliment. Born and raised Texan – what kind of Coke do you want? Sprite? Dr. Pepper? It’s all those East Coast lawyer types that make it DIRRRTY! LOL
OK, it’s time to confess: I have a giant lava lamp–and it’s in my bedroom. Its proportions are better than the one in this photo (less chunky, more elongated) but even so, it’s hard to miss, at nearly 3 feet high. To top things off, it has a quasi-Kasbah shape, and it’s…fuschia.
Having said all that, I wouldn’t be caught dead having that hideous lampstand.
doppelganger? more like doppelBANGER!!
also, if you’re having sex with your clone/time paradox/alternate reality self is it simply considered masturbation?
I think this entire picture is meant as an exercise in “Hipster Irony”. All it’s missing is a well worn copy of Kafka’s “Metamorphosis” laying around and a soundtrack of the new Pomplamoose youtube video playing in the background.
These are classic Narcissexuals. Lots of gays fall into narcissexuality.
Be afraid
It actually exists
http://www.glow.co.uk/acatalog/COLOSSAL-LAVA-LAMP-COFFEE-TABLE.html
The question of Photoshopping the lava lamp into the scene has been raised. However, on the wall behind the lava lamp, directly above the round table section, is a reflection on the wall which seems to match the table pretty well in terms of optics. So I un-call shenanigans on the lava lamp — but the issue of the similarity in the men (twins? Photoshopping? lovers who look eerily alike?) remains unresolved in my mind.
Sometimes when things are a bit slow in the photo dept of a certain major drug store chain, a person may get these creative moments and viola! a photo that makes it look like J.R. has a twin lover.
@mm: I would like to see this room in person. The lamp looks too big. If you ever run into him at said drugstore chain tell him I said hello.
i agree that it is difficult to perform ballet on a bed but this is no ordinary ballet…yes, big things do come with small packages…ummm, well you catch my drift…what i really want to mention is why do people create a perfectly functional and interesting interior and think that exposed wires disappear?? good god man,wires should never, ever be left in the open and P.S.the mother of all lava lamps would do some serious damage to your wooden floor if it ever fell after you tripped on those exposed electric cords!!