Sean: I’m pretty sure we’ve all heard this story before: Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime, his sister had another one and painted his door lime. Not exactly the right lyrics, I know, but one too many pina coladas while listening to a Harry Nilsson
PS I don’t mean to be a bitch, but when a paint company tells you to colour your world
David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
Shawn Baker is the Executive-Editor of Nightcharm and hails from New York. He is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Heather Corinna is the undisputed diva of online erotica for chicks. She publishes Scarleteen.com and is a sex guru to thousands of teenagers.
Sean Horlor is happy to no longer be using his judgmental prowess for the forces of darkness. He co-hosts a comedy lifestyle reality TV series called Don't Quit Your Gay Job and runs Up Your Alley.
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A VAST improvement over the last space. Wake up widdle fella. Ah, cute, he’s got the whole Harry Potter set and the ubiquitous gaming system every modern boy needs. I wasn’t completely sure at first that that was paint, it looks suspiciously like the day-glo duct tape that so many youts like to play with. Speaking of playing with…yum! But I digress. Seriously, is New Wave about to make a comeback? I never would have believed it.
are those color coordinated urine sample jars on the upper left shelf?
Even Romper Room’s colors were not this garrish. Revoke this boy’s gay card immediately!
Feh…such a SMALL problem, nothing a LITTLE paint job couldn’t gloss over, these TINY flaws can be easily overlooked. Most of these comments about this room belonging to a LITTLE BOY can be classified as INSIGNIFICANT, possibly. So, let’s not be a DICK about this, gentlemen, and maybe we can rise above this TRIVIAL detail….but I doubt it
One word review: unforgivable.
Johnny Boy, you size queens always going on so. Just because we don’t see much of a room, doesn’t mean there isn’t more there. Have some perspective. There’s bound to be more to the room than we’re seeing.
Jolly Rancher™ is not an interior color scheme.
A lot here depends on locale. If he lives on a Caribbean island, or in Brazil, then fine. You pretty much expect loud, clashing colors. If this is Minneapolis, then we have more of a problem. In any case, his beautiful skin tone makes up for any unfortunate paint colors.
So this is what it looks like the morning after one of “The Wiggles” picks up a trick? Or are the five of them taking in renters now?
Or was this guy on “Trading Spaces”? Because it’s hard to imagine any other circumstance under which anyone in their right mind would install a candy-colored, MDF wall unit in their own home and then carry that color scheme over to the doors and the trim. Only the euphoria of appearing on TV for a sleepless two-day stint could convince someone that such a ridiculous thing was a good idea.
It’s either that or drugs. LOTS of drugs. On a daily basis. Which, from the looks of our bleary boarder, isn’t such a stretch, come to think of it.
dvds, cds, lps, xbox….no wonder the boy doesn’t have time to paint!
It’s a mistake many make. Color Theory takes up a lot of credit hours in even the least rigorous Design program. But time and again, people think that they can march into the paint store and pick out a green they like and a blue they like and think it will be just fabulous.
It’s much harder than that, People! It takes years to get it right.
Here’s the Sin Beyond Redemption here: admit the error of your ways and repaint. But, I fear, this toothsome young buck has convinced himself that his tastes are just too “Fashion Forward” for the hoi polloi (and by “hoi polloi” he means every other person who has seen the inside of his apartment and responded with the inevitable, “Oka-a-a-aaay…”) and sally forth.
For your next apartment, just remember that there is a cheat available: bring in something–a greeting card, a can of Mountain Dew, a movie poster, an ad in a magazine–where actual design professionals have had a hand, and use that as your swatch board in picking out paint colors.
And move soon.
I must actually applaud our young friend here. Who but an incipient genius would be able to pick two colors of Daisy Disposable drinking cups and plan a whole world around them, and then include them in the decor as if to say, “NYAH! Told ya I could.”
Color choices not withstanding, this guy either paid professionals to paint this room, or he is one darn good painter. The workmanship is excellent. Seriously with such high contrast colors (and gloss) colors, the slightest surface flaw or brush stroke mistake is going to stick out like the proverbial sore thumb. Once again though, a little more time with the color wheel might have taken the edge off his overall color scheme.
Homage to Linda Lovelace
I’ve had nightmares that looked like this.
Has anyone noticed that the two shades of blue (the door and the shelves) are different? This color scheme has no redeeming value.
i’m trying to think of a yellow wall color that would mitigate the blue & green. i’m at a lost, tempted to just turn off the lights & turn him around.
Jack’s “date” for the evening stumbled sleepily toward the bathroom the next morning. Arriving at the bathroom door, Tom was startled awake by the colors greeting him. We see him as he turns around in shock with the same What-The-Freak look on his face as the reader has on his/her face. Tom’s heart leaps as he fears he has slept with a straight man or some freak of nature. Does he dare enter the bathroom chancing another color horror? Or does he grab his clothes and make an excuse about being late for a press conference. We think the latter, as we all know that bold colors can be motivating. Bye Tom!!! Don’t look back.
There is a simple explanation for this: cutie is color blind. To his eyes this paint job is perfectly reasonable. I had a friend once that had deuteranopia & he was always buying yellow fucking everything no matter how many of us told him it looked ridiculous.
the somewhat surprised look on his face indicates he may have made a wrong turn in the hallway and stumbled into the day care center during snacktime. mmm… twinkies!
“Me talk pretty someday, but me paint pretty never……”
Ahhhh… I got it! Its the same color scheme as the Bed Head product line containers! He MUST be one of the models or distributors! Talk about bringing your work home.
Perhaps this is a dorm room, and these are team colors. Inexcusable, perhaps, but those Seattle Seahawkers wear such colors on game day. I saw it myself. Imagine a bus full of this nauseating pallete headed to the game. My eyes are still burning.
Who says you can’t go home again? Not this guy. He’s obviously reliving his glory days when he was, what 8 years old (?)
Nice face and body… small weenie. Maybe it’s a grower!
Someone’s landlord is gonna be piiiiiiissssssed!
This is what someone with sound-color synesthesia sees when they listen to Moog synthesizer music.
Either he’s a giant with a normal sized door and high ceilings and high cabinets, and an overhead shelf at normal people’s height…or he’s normal height with a short door and a low-ass shelf for people to walk into.
Somewhere in Heaven, Piet Mondrian, David Hockney, and Maria Montessori are rolling around on a cloud floor whose centerpiece is a colossal and never-cashed bong. They still can’t believe this guy fell for it!
Glorious Green! Found a whole gallon of it when I rented a space at the Chateau Rothblatt as a student in Madison. The kitchen reeked for days afterwards. But it sure was glossy. I have fallen deeply in lust with this guy: notice how his elongated face resembles one of those Coptish early 1st Century coffin portraits? Beauty! And I like his cock- surely a grower and always ready…