Shawn: I actually had Colonial-themed wallpaper as a child, and even now I’d still prefer that over floral pattern. Throw too many petals at me and I start to feel like Dorothy just wanting to rest her eyes in a deadly poppy field. Weirdly, the color scheme of this pad has me picturing the map of Oz, with red Quadling country giving way mid-range to the Deadly Desert and finally emerging into yellow Winkie Land. There’s just such a floridly Mommy quality to the scene that I’m left wondering how many men either get some naughty boy thrill out of defiling Mother’s space or themselves have an old maid locked up inside them. And the fact alone that the curtains have illusory tassels instead of real ones says we’re really stranded in a strange, strange land.
David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
Shawn Baker is the Executive-Editor of Nightcharm and hails from New York. He is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Heather Corinna is the undisputed diva of online erotica for chicks. She publishes Scarleteen.com and is a sex guru to thousands of teenagers.
Sean Horlor is happy to no longer be using his judgmental prowess for the forces of darkness. He co-hosts a comedy lifestyle reality TV series called Don't Quit Your Gay Job and runs Up Your Alley.
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PATTERN OVERKILL !!!
My eyes hurt looking at all the floral only to be re-poked by the geometrics of the quilt. Rose Pink? Seems he is still stuck in the 80’s and what’s with the sofa bed? In the future I suggest to our yoga man (least I think and hope that’s a yoga move… the inverted crab?) that he opt to take said trick to the bedroom, however, I fear its probably just as nightmarish. Maybe best just to invest in a floor workout mat. At least it will be easier to clean up the …ummmm….errrrr… stains.
This is the Jan Brady of interiors. Neither pretty, nor cute; something ugly or socially unacceptable needs to be done just to get noticed. That wallpaper and color-coordinated quilt are a plea for attention and that curtain material is a blatant cry for help. Given the propensity of 50′s era material, I’d almost think this were some sort of time-travel-gone-awry, but in the 1950′s gay men pretty much stuck to oral sex so lucky did they feel to find a like-minded fellow. The difficulty of the position this guy is working himself into clearly demarcates this as a modern photo.
Title it: “The (ass) carpet do match the drapes!”
As an ass-muncher, I am drawn into this room. I like how all these colors are faded out patterns that some how blend in some uniformity.
Grandma Betty worked for 2 years to sew that quilt that Johnny just spreads out on. I am totally ok here.
Pucker up!
I could make a muumuu out of the red flower curtains. Or is it a carpet?
“What the….? Get your bare ass off that quilt! My Granny made that for me even though her arthritis was acting up bad.”
there’s gotta be some space-teens-playing-with-the-tractor-beam joke here, but i don’t feel like reaching for it.
that’s not a quilt, it’s a print.
Kevin was glad he had accepted David Copperfield’s invitation to stay over Thanksgiving weekend at David’s mother’s home. After all, Ivan was in detox again, and a 4-day weekend away from the clubs was just what he needed.
Exausted and replete, he retired to the guest room at the foot of the attic stairs. The room smelled of dust, camphor and memories. Quietly he disrobed. He pressed the tiny lock at the base of the cut-glass doorknob and flopped nude onto the bed. “Rack, rack” the chemically-stored sound of David’s voice circled the inside of Kevin’s skull. Something about summer camp. Somethng about Squeeze Parkay…
He had drifted all the way to 1971, oblivious to David’s attempts, 1 flight below, to levitate a banana from the bowl on the dining room table.
Nothing says ‘stylish’ like a random strip of duct tape on the wall.
personally I’m trying to figure out what’s up with that…thing he’s laying on. is it a daybed? an upholstered futon?? WTF
When I move my cursor over the pic, I get a text box that reads
“Lurid_Eggs”
My thoughts exactly.
did anybody notice the pink “stains” on this knees and ass cheeks perfectly match his ball?
It’s some kind of arcane code. Notice how his position matches the spread, so to speak, of the pattern. Kneecaps echoing the large blossoms; the eggs match the smaller ones and the furry crack repeats the fuzzy edges of the leaves. Clever!
No doubt it signals the end of the world. He certainly looks as if he’s had enough.
Banished to Gran’s ‘naughty room’, his buttocks still smarting from mummy’s stern smacks, Richard continued to play up. Oblivious to his churlish antics, mummy, Gran and Aunty Nona enjoyed their afternoon tea in peace at last.
That daybed is an abomination, pure and simple. And while I can appreciate Our Digger’s attempt to disguise its unmitigated hideousness with a quilt that splits the difference between the upholstery’s repulsive variations of mustard and the various rose hues found in the wallpaper & curtains – incredibly, he only succeeds in making the problem even worse!
HOWEVER –
The very fact that he’s gone out of his way to track down wallpaper and drapery that not only complement one another but exquisitely match his big, shiny, textbook testicles almost makes up for it. Almost.
(Although I will agree that he’s pushing his luck with the tassels. Tassels are a dicey proposition under the best of circumstances but trompe l’oeil tassels…? Now that takes balls.)
PS: It could be a room in East Berlin or Moscow circa 1983.
Dottie was pleased when her nephew Joekull wanted to come and visit a few days at her home in Twin Falls. She was a little perplexed however when he hung her tapestry, which usually draped over her living room settee, over her family room patio slider. She blamed the odd behavior on his new-age northern Californian upbringing, and that crazy Norwegian mother of his.
I can only think that one would find dried up old dead flies all over the windowsills and on the floor under the windows, and that this room probably reeks of fabric softener and cheap disinfectant cleanser…
In (post-) Soviet Russia, khhideous daybed fold YOU!
Doreen, I was swallowing my morning meds as I read your “contribution.” Do you know how much it burns to choke and accidently snort a Vistaril pill up your nasal passage?!? Brilliant pain, Doreen – start my day out right…
This is life before color-guard bleach.
Give me a break Lurid Digs. You can’t just post stills from Avatar and say you’ve done a day’s work.
If you stare long enough in the buttal area the red sit marks start to look like the eyes of the owl from the Hooters logo. And his crack begins to register as a beak, and it’s all topped with a floppy ben wa Easter headpiece. And so on.
Mega-Poppies on those curtains give me nightmares. And, Mind the Gap!
Perfect surrounding for the big spider from ‘Lord of the Rings’.
And those killer curtains! I need treatment for eye cancer now….
Very cool way to do the yMca. I dig the way his rose cheeks match his curtains.
I like the wallpaper
what can one really say…i admire the use of RED in this interior…the curtains, his balls, his ass cheeks, the tops of his knees and his big toes all coordinated in this most seductive RED. kudos to the trained colorist for a job well done!!
the geometry of this man’s balls prooves that oval shapes do exist in nature and were not created by man. sorry, a bit off subject but the perfection of shape needed to be commented upon.
I count seventeen different shades and hues of mucous!
The rosy hue of the tulips is reiterated in this man’s buttocks,knees, upper back and hands, leading one to question just what was he up to that necessitated a pelvic thrust heavenward? I am also wondering about the contraption he appears to be laying on. Is it a sofa (there are arms to this thing) or a futon that has been opened? Whatever the case, this room does suffer from too much floral print, although the bolder the flower, the brighter the hue!