A Half-Way House Netherwold

November 3, 2011

Shawn: Hey, at the end of the day, we all want to be Elisabeth Shue doing her opening credits thang in Adventures In Babysitting, but sadly, life comes with all manner of constraints. And really — isn’t this whole scene a testament to the defiance of the suffocating hedges of reality? The fact that the wall map — easily tacked-up but lacking the integral fourth corner — is deliberately left amiss is a blatant and flouting psychological giveaway; that an item that’s a fixture in rigid learning settings is so deliberately compromised says all you could ever want to know about the occupant. What else can you think when the walls are so utterly devoid of any other adornment and as bare as the exposed box spring? Weirdly, the entire room seems utterly out-of-time-place-context as well. The bed just screams halfway house — an incomplete border zone on the frustrating cusp of uncertain where-the-Hell-do-I-go-from-here imminence. Cabin-in-the-woods blanket and mismatched pillowcases? More like a cleaved psyche, with one self fighting in vain for respectability and the other just throwing up its hands in frustration. Ultimately, it’s the vintage ’60s-style Keds on the floor reveals that is not so much a physical locale as it is a netherwold zone accessible only by the ghost roads of the mind.

File Under:Bedroom Terrors

23 Responses to 'A Half-Way House Netherwold'

RedBackFur remarks:

Not the best remake of David Bowie’s, The Man That Fell To Earth.

November 3rd, 2011 at 11:31 pm
Gaytriarch remarks:

Shawn you ARE volatile! Box spring aside, we must give him one point for having a fitted sheet on his bed.

November 4th, 2011 at 12:42 am
Gaytriarch remarks:

Darn it, I forgot to add.. “And then he kissed me.” Probably because that was the furthest thing from my mind.

November 4th, 2011 at 12:51 am
ericthewriter remarks:

i believe that the secret to thriving in a residence hotel is to go all Gypsy Garret on it.
pull that sad twin frame under the window like a daybed, put it on risers & skirt it. instant storage
heap on every vintage-inspired toss pillow you can find. that faux fur throw you spacebagged last year needs to be your blanket.
pile up the repro oriental rugs on the floor.
hang your little sister’s maxfield parrish posters on the wall.
break out the candlesticks.
put the shawls from your stevie nicks phase over everything else.
think purple, orange, green. gold and ivory.
you can’t overdo the tassles, fringe or paisley.
too much is not enough.

all that having beed said, o would that i could train my bed to reject incompatible suitors as forcefully as this one does. if i could, i’d still have a full set of fiestaware and half a dozen cashmere v-necks.

November 4th, 2011 at 5:34 am
Frank remarks:

OK, it’s kind of hard for my eye to move away from that unsecured top left corner of that $2 map.

But that “blanket”? Looks like a scarf he stole from some poor old homeless woman. And note the months of dust accumulated on the fringes.

November 4th, 2011 at 9:23 am
Frank remarks:

And then the front desk called, relaying the noise complaint from the apartment below.

“Um… I’m just moving some furniture,” said Ricky.

November 4th, 2011 at 9:30 am
Tony the Busdriver remarks:

I believe what we have here is a rift in time and space casusing an area of anti-gravity directly through our subjects room. This would explain why the map which has come loose from the wall will not fall to the floor and also why our subject is floating carelessly above his bed.

That said… he needs colour on the walls and a new bedspread.

November 4th, 2011 at 9:38 am
Belinnaccio remarks:

I’d fuck him.

November 4th, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Frank remarks:

I can’t believe that no one else has noted the enormous resale value of the white walls, versus the harvest gold, carrot-top-complementing electric blue, lilac or magenta + powder blue that we’ve seen here previously. Let alone all the suicide-inspiring wallpapers.

November 4th, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Michael remarks:

“Post-humus Dalian, Lucifer’s decent into Hell, after ejection from The Throne Room, with map.”

November 4th, 2011 at 6:03 pm
ericthewriter remarks:

throne room? this place has an en suite bath?

November 4th, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Joel remarks:

THEY’RE HERE…..I’ve long advocated for GAY POLTERGEIST! Alas, a glimmer…

The room is fairly non-descript… mysterious illumination, mismatch sheets and horrible pillows.

November 4th, 2011 at 9:06 pm
SwankyJohn remarks:

I’m sorry fellas but this one is not what it seems. There’s something beautiful about this particular photo, deserving of being mounted on a gallery wall – with an obscene price attached to it!

November 4th, 2011 at 9:16 pm
ericthewriter remarks:

if this is part of a muybridge series, i wanna see the flipbook.

November 5th, 2011 at 6:08 am
nashbear remarks:

One point that can be made here is that the designer hit the nail on the head when he/she chose an ‘institutional look’ bed for the client. It is difficult to design for someone who levitates. The more I look at this however, the more a part of me levitates with him.

November 6th, 2011 at 7:53 am
Robear in Ojai remarks:

This must be an screen test from the new upcoming Exorcist movie. Obviously the set decorators hadn’t done their work yet.

November 7th, 2011 at 12:25 am
polaris remarks:

Looks like a budget recreation of a Ryan McGinley photograph

November 7th, 2011 at 4:33 am
HollerMan remarks:

WOW! I never thought I would live long enough to see Anthony Newly’s “Stop the World I want to Get Off!” come to be a literal translation. This reminds me of the time Papaw’s still blew up behind the barn and there were dead chickens all over the place. Which, in turn, only brings the validity of the following to stare you in the face: “It’s all fun and games until someone shits on the game-board”.

November 8th, 2011 at 7:42 pm
Frank remarks:

And THE LORD said, “Sun, stand thou still over Ayalon”, and the speed of the Earth’s rotation abruptly came to a halt.

November 11th, 2011 at 9:39 am
Eric remarks:

I work for Adobe, and thusly must recuse myself from comment.

November 11th, 2011 at 10:04 pm
Mick remarks:

I think it’s as clear as can be without an explicit label: what we’re presented with here is an homage to Paul Cadmus’s homage to Mantegna.

November 12th, 2011 at 12:41 pm
Eric remarks:

“if this is part of a muybridge series, i wanna see the flip book.” And with that comment, I title this (quite amazing) photo “A Gentleman’s Honor”.

November 12th, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Lesbia remarks:

Oh Silly Faggots:

This is a Kerry Skarbakka photo from the early 2000s. Not a good photo, but whatever: I guess it was intended as “art.”

http://www.skarbakka.com/

January 19th, 2012 at 8:13 pm

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23 Responses to 'A Half-Way House Netherwold'

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