Richard: It’s tricky to critique pics from Manhunters in other countries. What’s sexy and sultry in Estonia can seem silly and sappy in the States — and vice versa. So I’m a little apprehensive about analyzing this shot, which I’m guessing comes from Holland, based in part on those curtains and in part on other factors. If I’m wrong, someone please send this man a Hickory Farms apology bouquet on my behalf.
However, I must point out — and Ban Ki-moon would agree — that there are a handful of rules that transcend national borders. For starters: lace is never, ever, ever sexy. I mean, maybe if you were one of the Landers sisters and you were sporting a silk bathrobe and some very expensive lacy bits from La Perla, and you’d put some baby’s breath in your hair, you might be able to get away with it. But if you were one of the Landers sisters, you’d be aiming your trademark pout at straight men, and let’s face it, straight men are easy targets where hot, 80s vagina is concerned. Among the Gays, lace either screams “grandma” or “Stevie Nicks“, so tread lightly.
On the other hand, the wicker furniture is great and perfectly appropriate for a sunroom, and Chatty Cathy gets an A+ for color-coordinating the flora. Too bad nothing says “turnoff” like a giant flyswatter on a coffee table. Well, except putting mayonnaise French fries.
David K. publishes Nightcharm, the only gay porn site ever to be featured on Oprah and regularly compared to Martha Stewart Living.
Shawn Baker is the Executive-Editor of Nightcharm and hails from New York. He is a member of its young underclass, a little bit Ann Darrow, a little bit Travis Bickle.
Richard writes the infamous queer blog Sturtle.com . His turn-ons include wainscoting, ZZ Top, and sharp-dressed men. Turn-offs: sectionals, pleated trousers, and pina coladas.
Eric B. does not Facebook, Tweet or blog. He uses the internet to cruise for sex, like god intended. He has leopard print in every room of his house, save one. And he does not apologize.
Heather Corinna is the undisputed diva of online erotica for chicks. She publishes Scarleteen.com and is a sex guru to thousands of teenagers.
Sean Horlor is happy to no longer be using his judgmental prowess for the forces of darkness. He co-hosts a comedy lifestyle reality TV series called Don't Quit Your Gay Job and runs Up Your Alley.
- "A" for Effort
- Bathroom Abominations
- Bedroom Terrors
- Beyond Horrifying
- Calvacade of Calamities
- Closet Catastrophes
- Curb Upheaval
- Dens From Hell
- Dining Room Don'ts
- Floral Attack
- For the hell of it
- Fucked Up Foyers
- Haunted Hallways
- Hot Anyway
- Kitchen Kitsch
- Living Room Wreckage
- Loopy Lighting
- Marvelous Mancaves
- Must Haves
- News
- Something Different
- Suffocating Sofas
- Violations of Space
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- Inner Circle Porn Explosion
- Naked Jocks
- Uncut Amateurs
- UK Naked Men
- Frat Boys Fucking
- Banana Guide
- Jock Strap Central
- Fierce Gay Porn On Demand
- Military Hardcore
- Broke Straight Boys
- Slick Hunk Porn
- Nightcharm Theater
- Guys In Ties Shooting Loads
- Straights Guys for Gays
- Famous Gay Porn Stars
- Straight New York Men
- Euro Gay Pig Sex
- Kristen Bjorn Uncut Kings
- Hung Gay Gorillas
- Dirty Tony's Gay Amateurs
- Hunk Body Builders
- Hung Black Thugs
- Latin Guys Sucking
- OINK! Euro Studs Banging
- Scary Frat Hazing
- Alpha Male Fuckers
- But I'm a Married Straight Man
- Sucking My Brother's Friend
- Butch Dixon Naked Men Pics
- Next Door Nude Men
- Gay Older Dads and Papas
- Cocksucking Fuckers
- Sean Cody Boys Next Door
- Latin Guys Sucking
- Corbin Fischer's Gay Athletes
- Colt's Hung Men
- Nightcharm: Naked Men & Gay Porn Fun
- A Train Wreck
- Cheap Shit Condos
- Gayest Ever
- Gideonse Bible
- Kok Magazine
- Put ‘em All on an Island
- Queer Bites
- STARFUCKER
- Wayne’s Nude Musicians
© 2011 Nightcharm Inc. All rights reserved. No portion of this site may be reproduced without the writen permission of the owner.
He always wondered why his Craiglist ad – entitled “VIRGINS: TIME TO KEEP YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH THE WICKER MAN” – never got any replies.
This picture is far from innocent. Check out the crystal ball below the plant stand, just above the wicker basket containing a deadly cobra from India. The little Geni-lamp disguised as a candle holder doesn’t fool me either. The crescent shaped coffe table is what really gives it away – evil is brewing in this room.
No, no no. Whilst I will give him snaps for grouping in odd numbers, his trio of angle poise lamp, winter geranium and ali baba basket just do not work for me. The out of kilter height ratio and scale of these accessories suggests a gender conflict with the vaginal suggestively of the Ali baba dwarfed by the geraniums obvious symbolism of propagation by division. As for the lamp,that’s just tacky.
Am I alone in noting that the chaise is shaped like an erect cock and tightly-drawn ballsack?
Virginia, it is just you….however, we’re concerned about skid marks on the chaise. My guess is Australian, he’s got a tinge of a sunburn.
something wicker this way comes, indeed.
One knocked over candle and WHOOSH! Talk about your fire hazards.
what’s wrong with mayo on french fries??
One imagines croquet on the lawn, an odd choice for the month of January? Couldn’t we have something in honor of MLK Day? I have no real comment to make (Nothing will top “something wicker this way comes”); I merely wish to state that I believe the “crystal ball” is actually a piece of electronic equipment of some sort (some type of CD player) and that although it’s certainly lacy, I’m not sure it’s technically lace. There seems to be far too much fabric to this lace. Isn’t it more likely the newer trend of laser cutout fabric? in which case I can’t even estimate the costliness of such a window treatment. Some may believe the blue fly-swatter clashes the most (but it is a sun porch); I think the folding lawn chair trying to pose as modern furniture is a worse blight. Wouldn’t a white Adirondack go better with the mix of white, wicker and wood?
Could very well be Holland. The Dutch love flowers and I believe they are into mosquito season.
I can’t get past the terrible curtains.
carlton varney warned decades ago that too much wicker and lace results in a dollhouse look.
this, i am afraid, is just a dullhouse.
A man
A plan
Rattan!
….and one more thing. this is allegedly a sunroom. where the hell is the sun?
i’d paint the walls a nice light yellow. i’d trim the curtains to sill length and put tension rods in the bottom hem.
then i’d pick a decade, or at least a century. and maybe a theme.
neovictorian? paint the furniture brown and slipcover the cushions. add throws, toss pillows, etc. i’d also remove the sisal mat, arts&crafts plantstand and the folding chair and add more plants. think orangerie. or conservatory if that’s too ambitious.
1980s? paint the furniture black, add red cushions and cabbage rose pillows. shiny brass and faux-patina’d neoclassical accessories.
1960s? paint the furniture different dayglo tones, add tiedye pillows and macrame planthangers.
granny chic? paint it white and break out the chintz which coordinates with the delft objets. then the flyswatter wouldn’t have to carry the whole room all by itself.
Are those curtains actually lace or plastic shower curtains? If the latter the whole picture changes for me and becomes a tad more interesting and provocative.
The predominance of smooth white surfaces in this bright, sunny room plus the fly swatter makes me think this is probably some place in South Africa.
OK…. I’ll admit it. I kinda like this room.
T’would be better if:
a/ Change the lace curtains to shears.
b/ Cover the beige cushions with any colour to avoid the skids.
c/ If someone cud send me his address and phone #
This looks to me like an ad for the summer Ikea catalog….while the model was taking a short break calling his agent.
If I were forced to sport faux geraniums in my room, I would not place them on an over-sized pedestal to draw attention to them. And I just do not understand the Fushigi®. Keep your magic toys properly stowed.
• • • • •
Oh, and Virginia Hamm, Please visit again in San Francisco. I miss being lead around by you on the floor, we made a cute couple.
Eyelet might be sexy for an 1890′s saloon girl, but what intrigues me most (other than how much spray n wash one must have on hand for the inevitable skidders,) is what’s going on in his phone conversation? Is it a new love he is confiding secrets to? Or his mother, with whom he shares giggles and recipes with? Either way, if this picture is used for online hook-up site, this photo is not going to provide much in the way of alluring someone into your outback steakhouse.
I think RedBackFur has it — this looks directly out of the IKEA catalogue.
I’m not so sure the blue flyswatter – while a nice splash of colour – is actually part of the decor. I think it’s advertising his kink for potential playmates / clientele. “Over my knee, and I will take the flyswatter to your naughty boy bottom!” If that’s the case, I hope he doesn’t leave it out as part of the decor all the time.
with all that wicker I just keep hearing: “thank you for being a friend, travel down the road and back again, your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant…”
i keep hearing fannie flagg say ‘i would’ve been miss america, but i sat in a wicker chair before the swimsuit competition.’
If it weren’t for a few minor details, this picture would make a great Pier 1 ad. I wonder if the fly swatter is a household aid or a disciplinary device?